Rejected and Regretted (Ashen Wolves #1)

24

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A V R I L

As the hunting team prepared to leave, I gathered with them at the town square. Well, not exactly with them, but a few feet behind the wolves in formation. Even if I wasn’t already aware of how they felt about me, the way they occasionally squinted their eyes at me let me know they weren’t fond of the idea of allowing me to tag along.

It was obvious they thought an untrained omega would only slow them down. If only they knew I alone could hunt twice the prey they could catch in half the time. Lucky for them, I wouldn’t humiliate them - Kea was too weak to come out, and even if that wasn’t the case, I still couldn’t reveal my true power. But that didn’t stop me from glaring right back at each asshole who tried to intimidate me with their silent stares until they were too uncomfortable to keep it up.

“May the Moon Goddess bless our hunt this evening,” Koen began the same speech he recited to his team every Wednesday. It wasn’t something his father used to do before him, but I was sure his pack knew it by heart, considering how long he had been ruling. Still, as his voice echoed through the open space, all the shifters in front of me perked their ears attentively. “Let us remember that the prey we chase tonight feeds us, and in turn, we protect the land and ensure its continued prosperity. Respect the life we take, for it is a gift that sustains our pack.”

As soon as he finished, the wolves raised their heads to the sky, their howls blending into a harmonious ode of loyalty and unity. Though the ritual felt a bit cliché to me, I had to admit it touched me deeply. Our animal nature made us prone to violence and accustomed to killing - to death . It was honorable and necessary to be reminded that life - both ours and that of other creatures - should never be taken for granted.

After ordering his team to assume their formation within the group, Koen made his way to me, considerately asking, “Would you like to join us in human form or wolf form?”

I quickly repeated the lie I had previously rehearsed. “Compared to you and your team, Kea is too slow, and she runs out of breath fairly quickly. I’d hate to hinder you.”

A few grunts from the hunting team followed my answer. While I was significantly distant from them and speaking in a low voice, I was sure they had heard me confirm their earlier suspicions. Koen, on the other hand, was quite eager to accommodate me as best as he could.

“That’s okay,” he reassured me, following with a suggestion I was already expecting. “You can ride Col.”

Although the idea of sitting on the alpha’s back while we traveled through the woods did make me hesitant at first, I soon grew to see it as an opportunity. Since I wanted to test whether my human side was truly immune to remaining effects of the mate bond I once shared with Koen, it would be good to see how my body reacted when I was this close to him.

Carefully, I watched as Koen stripped down to his shorts. He seemed oblivious to how my eyes lingered on him, scanning every inch of his skin as it was revealed. I attentively observed how his muscles flexed as he made quick work of his clothes. I braced myself to feel my heart skip a beat or for my mind to become hazy at the sight of his half-naked body. Nothing . Yes, I found him attractive, but that was it - there was no urge to run my hands over his abs, no instinct to beat any other she-wolf who stole glances at him to a pulp.

No mate bond.

I experienced the same once as the man transformed into the magnificent wolf with a white coat purer than December snow. Columbus was breathtaking, exuding both grace and power, but as our eyes locked, my lips didn’t form the word ‘mate.’ There was admiration, but no pull, no burning desire to claim him as mine.

When the beast lowered himself in front of me, inviting me to climb on his back, I was afraid my body would finally betray me. Yet, as I got comfortable just below his wide shoulders, my legs clinging to his side for balance, I didn’t feel a single spark. As my hands dove into its soft mane, my fingers wrapping around fistfuls of his fur, no butterflies took flight in my stomach.

My lack of reaction had me sighing in utmost relief. Kea must have been right all along. Just then, a thought crossed my mind, and I wondered if Koen had set this up for the same reason - to see if his animal counterpart still had feelings for his rejected mate. As curious as I was, I knew I wouldn’t be getting any answers, since we couldn’t properly communicate while he was in wolf form.

Still, I understood Col was about to start moving when he gave me a quiet grunt. I nodded in response, and he trotted to the front of the group. With a head gesture, he signaled to them that the hunt was about to begin. I grasped his fur tighter in order not to fall once he started sprinting, building up to a full gallop by the time we reached the borders.

With his pack of hunters behind him, Col slowed down before we entered the hunting grounds. The other wolves didn’t need a command to stealthily scatter around the clearing, advancing from different positions. To a layman, their movements might have seemed random, yet I had led enough hunts to know they were extremely coordinated.

Although I hadn’t been informed about what prey they were after this evening, it wasn’t hard to guess. Judging by the time of day, I assumed they were chasing deer. Aside from being quite abundant in the outskirts of Whispering Hills, the creatures were known to be more active just before sundown, their movement making it easier to spot them.

As we prowled through the dense underbrush, the anticipation of the hunt hung heavy in the air. However, I felt completely at ease. The longer I spent bonding with Koen’s wolf, the more evident it became that I didn’t feel anything for him at all. I could still remember how helpless I had felt in my former mate’s embrace the night he kissed me, and I relished in the fact that it was far gone. Regardless of how close I was to him now, without Kea’s emotions to poison my own, I was unaffected by him.

Suddenly, a low, barely audible growl from the alpha let me know he had spotted something. I looked ahead of me to find a lone deer grazing a short distance away from us. Heeding Koen’s warning, I clung tighter to him, learning forward to prepare myself for his next move.

Not a second later, Col darted toward his prey, finally revealing himself to it. Startled, the deer attempted to flee, effortlessly bounding through the trees, awakening the rest of its herd. The creatures’ movements were graceful and precise, but the alpha’s were faster, deadlier. The wind whipped past us in a blur of motion, and I found myself growling in harmony with the wolf, caught up in the exhilarating rush of the hunt.

With a burst of speed, Columbus cut through the forest with a precision that left me breathless. And then, in a flash, he pounced, his powerful jaws closing around the deer's throat with a swift, lethal strike. The air was filled with the sound of rustling leaves and sharp cries as the rest of the wolves descended upon their fallen prey, securing the pack’s food for the next week.

Although I hadn’t run myself, I was panting just like the alpha, adrenaline surging through my veins. With the thrill of the chase still fresh, I climbed down from the wolf’s back, patting his side in a silent compliment to his demonstration of skill. To my surprise, he purred in response, and it made my heart skip a beat.

With his attention caught, he turned to face me, capturing me in his penetrating gaze. As if I was in a trance, I froze, completely lost in those deep emeralds.

There was so much inside those dense, unexplored forests. The deeper I ventured into them, the more I understood his feelings. His compassion, his care, his guilt. They were hidden from unwanted eyes, yet he showed them to me. It felt as if he could reach into my soul with his stare alone, and it scared me. It scared me so much, I immediately tore my eyes away, my pulse pounding wildly.

Kea wasn’t the only one who was affected by him.

I was, too.

With my mind running a million miles a minute, I lost track of my surroundings. It wasn’t until Col nudged my arm with his nose, sending electricity surging through me, that I was brought back to reality with a loud gasp.

Judging by the way the white wolf cocked his head to the side, he didn’t understand my reaction. Good, he hadn’t been able to see through me. Still, I avoided looking into his eyes, afraid whatever magical connection I had felt an instant ago would be reestablished.

When Col released a low rumble, lowering himself to the ground, I realized he wanted me to climb back onto his back. With a quick look around, I realized the whole horde of deer had been taken down by the hunters. They were ready to return to pack territory, and I wouldn’t oblige.

I wanted nothing more than to be out of here, so I could be away from Koen.

Despite hesitant to ride the alpha’s beast after what I had felt, it would be best to act as if nothing had happened. I didn’t want to risk him figuring it out. In my frightened state, it was hard to control my ragged breath, but I hoped I could blame it on the effort of clinging to Col’s mane while he sped through the trees.

Once back at Whispering Hills, the alpha barked a command to his team. They headed to the kitchen, where the prey they caught would be prepared and stored to feed the pack for the following week, while Koen took me to the town square.

In my eagerness to flee from him, I didn’t wait for the wolf to fully come to a stop. Before he crouched down to allow me to safely climb off, I pulled up my right leg to dismount from the left. However, I misjudged how far I was from the ground. Stumbling, I fell down with a thud.

My head was spinning too fast for me to even feel embarrassed. I simply pulled myself up quickly, readying myself to dust off the dirt on my clothes with my hands, only to realize I was smearing them with crimson in doing so. When I looked at my left palm, I noticed a superficial cut on it - I must have landed on a tiny, yet sharp rock.

Normally, I had more endurance. My skin was tougher than this, I was sure, but it seemed even that had been affected by my daily silver intakes. Which reminded me, my rapid healing wasn’t working either.

Blood drained from my face as realization dawned on me, and I cursed under my breath, “Shit.”

Not even a second later, I heard the voice I was dreading. “Avril?”

I didn’t have to turn around to know that Koen had transformed back into his human form. Yet, I didn’t dare move. I could hear his footsteps drawing nearer, alerting me I had to act fast.

Kea once said the smiles I forced at him were obviously fake, but I don’t think any of them had been as obvious as the one I managed as I spun on my heel. “I’m fine! Don’t worry. I’m just clumsy.” I desperately tried to brush it off, but the second I watched his nostrils flare, I knew he had picked up on the metallic scent.

“Are you hurt?” he asked, giving me no time to step away as he firmly grabbed me by the wrist, exposing my injured palm. I held my breath when he frowned. “It’s just a cut.”

“Like I said, I’ll be fine,” I insisted, trying to withdraw my hand, but he kept a firm hold on my arm.

When he looked up at me, confusion was written all over his face. “Why is it not healing? A cut this shallow should’ve healed already.”

I shrugged. “Omega blood. We’re quite frail,” I tried, continuing to struggle against his grasp, with no luck of freeing myself.

A few seconds of silence followed before his eyes suddenly darkened.

I knew then he was certain something wasn’t right.