Rejected and Regretted (Ashen Wolves #1)

25

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K O E N

I had no idea what was going on with Avril, but I sensed an abrupt shift in her mood in the forest. The carefreeness and excitement she exhibited during the run were suddenly just gone. As much as it bothered me not to know what had gotten her into that state, I tried to return as quickly as possible, hoping she would feel better once we were back. I just didn’t expect her to jump off in haste, as if she were on a sinking ship.

Even though I was fully aware that Avril couldn’t possibly badly injure herself in such a mild fall, the irrational part of me still feared for her well-being. Especially when I smelled the faint metallic scent poisoning the air, which sent me into overprotective mode. Consumed by worry, it didn’t strike me as strange that she managed to get injured. It was only when I noticed that a cut as superficial as the one crossing her palm wasn’t healing at all that I realized something had to be off.

“Let go, Koen!” Avril hissed. The harder she tried to pull her arm, twisting her wrist vehemently, the tighter I held her. It was so instinctive, I barely registered I was applying any force at all. “It will be healed in a minute, you’ll see!”

I could hear her words, but I didn’t trust them. Not when there was not an ounce of conviction in her own voice. It was almost as if she knew what was wrong.

Wait.

I sniffed the air again, slowly lowering my face to the cut on her palm. Examining the scent thoroughly, closer to its source, I caught a hint of a different smell mixed with her blood. It was barely perceptive, which explained how I had missed it at first. But I couldn’t be entirely sure what it was. Not until I…

“The hell are you doing Koen?! Let me go, damn it!” she protested again, yet I paid no mind to it.

While she thrashed about, uselessly trying to rid herself of my grasp, I leaned even closer to the wound. Without hesitation, I flicked my tongue over her skin, coating it in her blood. She winced, likely weirded out by the gesture. But she couldn’t possibly be more shocked than I was when I was finally able to make sense of the situation.

The taste of her blood lingered in my mouth as I probed it carefully. It was simultaneously sweet and salty, coupled with a bitter aftertaste. Although the punginess of iron was predominant, there was an underlying hint of a different metal. It could have gone unnoticed had it not burned my tongue.

Silver.

When my eyes locked on hers, I saw a storm brewing behind them. She was angry, yet no more than I was after what I had just found. She finally managed to escape my grasp when I was overcome with confusion, but she couldn’t go far.

Before she could run, I used my werewolf speed to reach her, tossing her over my shoulder. She yelled, her fists slamming against my back relentlessly, but I secured her with my arms. I wouldn’t let her go - not until I got to the bottom of this.

At lightning speed, we made it to her guest cottage in a matter of seconds. Right outside her door, I put her down at last. To prevent her from trying and escaping me, I pinned her against the wall with both my arms.

Coming to terms with the fact she wouldn’t be free from me until I got the answers I wanted, she stopped fighting. Still, she held her head high, her dissatisfaction stamped on her expression as she stared right back into my eyes, our faces inches apart.

“Why is there silver in your bloodstream?” I questioned cooly.

She narrowed her eyes defensively. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“The truth, Avril,” I demanded, pushing my palms harder against the wall as it became harder to hold back my rage.

If she told me someone from my pack had drugged her, I would be furious. However, that didn’t seem to be the case at all. Though I had decided to give her space after the kiss we shared, I still made sure to keep an eye on her from a distance to ensure no harm came her way. I knew no one could have poisoned her under my watch. But even if I didn’t trust myself, her reaction told me otherwise.

She was the one behind it.

After a minute, Avril scoffed, rage burning in her eyes. “You want the truth, huh?” she muttered, poison on her tongue, pushing herself off the wall and stepping defiantly closer to me. “Well, the truth , Koen, is that you’re getting under my skin. No matter how hard I try to push you away, it’s like destiny is pulling me toward you, making me feel something for you, and I don’t like it. Actually, I hate it. I fucking hate it!”

In her outburst, she shoved her hands against my chest, pushing me off of her. I was too taken aback by her answer to do or say anything. While she spilled the truth like I had asked her to, releasing all of her anger upon me, I could only stand there in utmost disbelief.

“The truth is…” she continued. “I started taking silver to weaken my wolf, in hopes I wouldn’t feel the pull. But it isn’t gone. No matter what I do, I still feel it.” She started stomping toward me, moved by pure anger. “The longer I stay around you, the stronger these absurd emotions get. It’s getting harder to fight it, and I hate it,” she revealed in a rush. By the time she stopped face to face with me, she was out of breath from speaking so fast. Through gritted teeth she declared, “I hate that I can’t hate you!”

Avril was breathing heavily, a thousand emotions flashing in her eyes as she stared into mine. It was usually hard to read her, as if she was hiding her true self from me. This time, it was no different. I could only discern two contrasting feelings - rage and care - emanating from her, making it hard to know whether she wanted to punch me or kiss me.

I, on the other hand, knew exactly what I wanted to do.

“Hate me if you must,” I whispered, taking her by surprise. “I deserve your hate. But let me at least try to be worthy of something else.”

Maybe I acted too fast for her to understand my intentions, but she didn’t try to stop me when I crashed my lips against hers, my hands grasping each side of her head, afraid she would pull away.

Yet, she didn’t.

A V R I L

Before I knew it, Koen’s mouth was on mine, and I was left to wonder how I ended up in this situation.

That’s not how it was supposed to go. I was to tell Koen he was the person I despised most in the entire world. He should have been mad, or sad. I was ready to sacrifice my mission by having him exile me a second time after my confession. I hadn’t planned this outcome - not that I had planned anything at all about our conversation.

How did this happen?

I wished I could care enough to find an answer, but I didn’t. As his lips brushed against mine, his earthy scent intoxicating me more than ever, all I could focus on was how good it felt. Goddess, it was even better than our first kiss.

Everything was more intense, as if Koen had thrown every ounce of control out of the window. His tongue explored my mouth so feverishly, I thought I would catch on fire. Our teeth clashed amidst the burning urgency, but I didn’t mind. In fact, it made my heart race and my thighs clench in pleasure.

As my arms quickly wrapped around his neck, desperate to bring him impossibly closer, I embraced the truth I had been trying so hard to deny - that I wanted him. My body called for his as it never did for anyone else’s.

I was out of breath, the lack of oxygen only heightening my lust, when Koen’s lips at last left mine. Before I could protest, frustrated by his absence, he began trailing wet kisses down my cheek, my chin, my neck. He alternated between sucking, nipping, and kissing the area, moving from one spot to another then back to the beginning, releasing low growls while he worked.

It was maddening. He was maddening, and for a second, I decided not to give a fuck about everything I should feel toward him. I shut everything off and let my hands travel down his back, my nails threatening to break through the thin fabric of his shirt as his mouth found mine again.

In return, he lowered his hands to my neck, then to my chest, palming my breasts. I moaned in response, feeling him smile against my mouth in satisfaction. My fingers traveled to his abdomen, exploring the surface of his rock-hard muscles. It seemed he found my curiosity enticing, as he pushed me against the wall, the pressure of his body on mine sending me over the moon.

All I could feel was heat. It was as though someone had turned the thermostat to the max, frying my brain and my good sense along with it. Koen’s hands grasped my thigh the second my fingers reached the waistband of his pants, and a loud growl broke through his lips. He pressed his crotch against me, and I felt his erection through his pants, imprisoned in them, desperately trying to break free. That seemed to bring us both back to reality.

In a jolt, we broke our kiss, but neither of us wanted to put more distance between us.

“Avril,” he breathed out my name as he usually did, though his voice was huskier.

And, for the first time, I found myself replying, “Koen.”

He groaned, his forearms against the wall, trembling by each side of my head, as he clearly fought to keep his composure. I opened my eyes, realizing my fingers were still tugging at his pants. As reason slowly returned to me, I finally released it, keeping my hands off him.

I couldn’t let things escalate - I shouldn’t even have let it come to this.

Once the fire between us was under control, our breaths collected, his voice filled my ear. “Do you still want to hate me?”

“Yes,” I replied without a second thought.

My body might be a traitor, but my mind still knew better than to nourish feelings for the man who rejected me.

“Good,” he replied, to my surprise. Lifting his head, his green eyes, more vivid than ever, met mine as he professed, “Means I’ll have to keep trying to change that.”