Resist Me

Chapter 26

West

The second time was even better. My nerves had been a wreck, but not because of the sex. Linc was very adept at that.

He came out of the bathroom still toweling off his hair. I’d taken a shower first, adamantly refusing to do it with him. That was intimate in a way I wasn’t even close to ready for. I still had emotional whiplash, which was my own damn fault, but the feeling was valid.

“You hungry?” he asked. I raised a brow and he laughed. “That’s a dumb question.”

“Very dumb. I thought we had something good going here.”

“Mm.” He leaned down to kiss me and I couldn’t resist running my fingers through his damp curls. “If I order food, you’ll forgive me for asking something so offensive.”

“Fine,” I conceded. “Can we watch a movie too?”

“Sure.” He grabbed a remote from the nightstand and passed it to me. “What do you like? Superhero movies, huh?”

“I’m not a cliché.”

He raised a brow. “I’m surprised. Thought you’d be a Spiderman guy. Or Iron Man.”

I set down the remote, suddenly not interested in watching anything. “No. I don’t like Iron Man.”

“Alright. No Iron Man, then.”

He sat and leaned against the headboard as he pulled up the delivery app. I glanced at him and was again hit by disbelief. It was weird that we were here like this. I didn’t know what any of it meant despite his ‘not just for sex’ statement. I wasn’t quite sure where I stood except that when I left the apartment, I thought about the fact that he’d shown up to help with our problem, and I got butterflies. Before I knew it, I was fighting an internal battle that I lost. Hence why I showed up here on a whim.

“What sounds good?” he asked.

“If you’re paying, I’ll go with lobster, a forty-ounce tomahawk, and a giant slice of chocolate cake.”

He glanced sidelong at me, his exasperation clear. “All of those things would be better in person.”

“Well, I’m not putting my jeans on, so that’s a hard no.”

“Friday, then.”

“What?”

“We’ll go out. And yeah, I’ll pay, but only because I know you’re helpless and broke.”

I swatted his chest with the back of my hand. “You’re mean. I’m not going out with you.”

“Why not?”

“Because that sounds like a date.”

“I wasn’t aware that I needed to make that clearer. Yes, West, I’m asking you out on a date.”

My stomach flipped. More than flipped. That bitch did an aerial turn and proceeded to get lost in some gravitational pull outside of our galaxy.

“I told you what staying meant,” he pointed out.

“You didn’t present me with the terms and conditions of this deal. I need to see the fine print.”

“You don’t strike me as someone who would read it.”

With a grimace, I turned onto my side to look at him. I propped my face on my hand and studied the sharp curve of his jaw. He was still tapping away on the phone, apparently done asking for my opinion, which was fine. I’d eat most things anyway .

“If we’re doing this, you need to know what you’re in for,” I said. “I’m-”

“Dramatic, emotional, needy, infuriating.” He didn’t look at me as he spoke. “Yeah, I know.”

“That’s entirely uncalled for. I am… All of those things but also more.”

He turned off his screen and scooted further down the bed, rolling to face me. Reaching out, he brushed his thumb across my lower lip.

“Fascinating, nuanced, clever.” His hand traveled to my bare chest and he licked his lips. “Sexy.”

I tried and failed to hide my smile. “Okay, maybe you know some things.”

“Tell me everything.”

“We may need a shrink present. I’m prone to falling apart.”

Wrapping his arm around my waist, he pulled me flush against him. “I’ve got you.”

“Who the hell are you and what’d you do with the evil quarterback?”

“I was never evil. You didn’t take a single second to get to know me.”

“You’re saying it’s my fault.”

“Yes.”

I scoffed. “I think you’re being unfair.”

“Shut up, West.”

He kissed the side of my neck while I mocked him under my breath. I’d been mostly joking before, but I really did have questions about what was going on now. Once again, I’d lost myself in him and I couldn’t deny that I felt something . It was just tangled in a really confusing web- months of rivalry and viewing him as a hurdle to clear.

Could we have some sort of relationship? His affectionate kisses and sweet-ish words pointed to that. The guy wanted to take me on a date. I’d never been taken on a date. I’d taken girls out, but this felt more serious, and that scared the shit out of me.

Did I want us to have something more? Right now, I was on the maybe train, but I might have been veering toward the track with a big ‘yes’ sign at the entrance. When I walked out of here, though, and this lusty fog cleared, would that change?

“Are you not freaked out by all of this?” I asked .

He pulled back enough to look at me. “Should I be?”

“I don’t know. You can’t tell me that you’re prepared to march out of here hand-in-hand and show the whole school that we’re… something.”

Turning onto his back, he put an arm behind his neck. “It’s not like I intend to make some big announcement to the world, West.”

“Oh.”

That felt like a slap to the face. He wanted more than just sex, but not what Sen and Kai had. My friend ensured that everybody knew he was taken and most people were fully aware that Sen was off limits. They belonged to each other and he’d never let anyone think differently.

“You want this to be a secret.”

Linc angled his head toward me. His brows were furrowed as he met my eyes. “That’s not what I said. I just don’t publicize my entire personal life. But-”

“It’s fine. You don’t have to explain.”

“But if this turned into something more,” he went on, “I’d make it known. Facebook official and all that bullshit, if required.”

“Of course it’d be required.”

“Is that what you want?”

“No.”

He smirked. “I’ll do it right now.”

“Fuck off. I’ll block you.”

I tried to ignore the deep reverberation of his laugh. Looking around his place, I found myself wanting to know more about his life. He’d proven to be a bit of a conundrum. He was definitely different than I expected, which just intrigued me more.

“How long have you had this place?” I asked.

“A couple of years. I was tired of being around people all the time.”

“Antisocial much?”

“A little.” He slipped an arm underneath me and pulled me close. I tried to protest, but I was starting to understand that it was pointless. Besides, his chest was warm and solid. When I laid my head on it, I could hear his heartbeat.

“You don’t work and I know housing is far from affordable here. You must have a rich dad. ”

His fingers trailed down the bare skin of my back, making me shiver. “I have a dead dad who left me money.”

“Damn. Kinda wish mine was.”

“That’s a… weird thing to say.”

I grimaced. “Sorry. That was rude.”

“Yeah, but I think it’s one of the most genuine things I’ve heard you say, so… I guess there’s that.”

I ran my hand across his chest, then down his torso. His muscles flexed under my touch, reminding me just how strong he was. He picked me up earlier and it was stupidly hot that he could do that.

“What happened to him?” I hoped the question didn’t offend him.

He took a deep breath. “Both of my parents died in a car accident when I was seventeen.”

“Shit. I’m sorry.”

“There’s no need to be. I’m not really a grief guy.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means that I’m not burdened by death. They lived good, happy lives. We were close as a family and I have a lot of great memories of them. Obviously, it’s hard sometimes, but I’ve decided that the best thing to do is live my life in a way they’d be proud of. I carry what’s left of them in this world.”

That was profound. I wondered if I could find a way to think of things that way. My mom was dead, so I could convince myself that I was somehow making her proud. Maybe she’d be just as disgusted by me as my dad, but I could pretend.

My dad was still around, spreading nothing but negativity in the world. I had this overwhelming fear that I’d turn out like him, but if I tried to be positive for a minute, maybe I could find the pieces of him that existed before James. I had his sense of humor. Once upon a time, he’d been outgoing and likable. He was an engineer, which was probably far outside of my capabilities, but I was moderately smart.

Thinking too much about it all made my head hurt. I’d rather hear about someone else’s life.

“What did your parents do for a living?”

I looked up to find Linc smiling. “They were music teachers. My mom was part of a Broadway orchestra before she had me. She wanted to make sure she was around more than it would’ve allowed, so she started teaching at a university back home in Tennessee.”

“The music thing makes more sense now. What instruments can you play?”

He blew out a short raspberry. “Too many. Most of them I don’t enjoy. I can play the flute, clarinet, guitar, cello, I’m decent with a violin. Piano is what I like the most.”

“Why do you hide all these things about you? You’re ridiculously impressive.”

“I don’t hide anything about myself. I just don’t live my life for others and I don’t care about impressing them. Most of the people on the team are just casual friends. They don’t ask and I don’t tell.”

“We’re sort of opposites, you know. I’m an attention whore and you like to hole yourself up in your secret apartment to avoid people.”

He chuckled, leaning down to press his lips to my head. “There’s nothing wrong with telling people who you are. You do keep a lot of things to yourself, though.” He shifted as if uncomfortable. When I glanced at him, he looked hesitant. “I think I should tell you something.”

“Uh oh. You’re married, aren’t you?”

The way he rolled his eyes made me laugh. “It’s about Willow, actually. And you.”

Immediately, I sat up. I instinctively put a little distance between us while I waited for what he was going to say.

“She told me about her past.”

My gaze snapped to his. “What? Why would she do that?”

“To make me understand you more, apparently. I’m sorry. I know that it’d be better to hear it from you, but…”

Swiping a hand down my face, I tried to calm my racing heart. Willow’s story was her own and she could tell it if she wanted to, but I felt like I’d been violated in a way. I wasn’t ready for Lincoln to see what lurked underneath my skin, the ugly monsters that crawled through my veins and twisted my mind. Only Willow and Kai knew the extent of it.

I sighed after a minute. “That’s why you’re being so nice to me.”

His brow tightened. “No, she just told me today. I’m not treating you any differently than I would if I didn’t know. ”

“Of course you are. It’s just the natural reaction. People start tiptoeing around you and any time something happens, they look at you with concern. I can’t stand it. It didn’t even happen to me, so you don’t need to pity me just because I failed her.”

I moved to stand, but he pulled me down by my arm. When I shook him off, he rolled to his knees. I fought him, but he planted himself on me, straddling my hips. He managed to grab my wrists and pushed them onto the bed on either side of my head.

“Let me go,” I demanded.

“No, you don’t get to walk out of here just because I can see you. You’re West Densmore. You don’t run and hide from things because they’re hard.”

Craning my neck upward as much as I could, I glared at him. “You don’t know who I am.”

“I’m trying to. That’s why you don’t get to push me away. You want to be mad at me and shutter yourself, get angry and lash out? What, because your mom died? Because your dad is a dick and blames you for something that wasn’t your fault? We all have shit, West, and I’m so fucking sorry you’ve had to deal with all of that, but you’re not running. I haven’t tiptoed around you and I’m not being nice to you because I pity you.”

He released one of my wrists and brushed his thumb along my cheekbone. I blinked rapidly, averting my eyes. Something was bubbling up, ready to explode out of me. I wanted to throw him off of me and hit something. Anything to get rid of this ache in my chest that should have faded with time.

“I touch you like this because I care,” he went on softly. “If you need to lose control, go right ahead, but you’re doing it here. Let me see you, West.”

“You don’t want that.”

“Oh, I really do. I want everything.”

He didn’t mean these things. It was because of what Willow told him. He was on some white knight shit and if I gave into him, I’d only get hurt more when he decided I was too much. There were some things I’d learned a long time ago. If my own father couldn’t love me, nobody else could either. Not when they eventually saw me the way he did .

“You won’t talk about it,” he said. I shook my head. “Then don’t. Just stop hiding.”

I arched up and knocked my forehead against his. He swore, careening to the side. It gave me the chance to get up and leave, but I stopped. My breaths were coming quickly and my mind was racing between my options. With a growl, I flipped onto my knees and pushed him onto his back.

“Don’t try to open me up,” I said.

His eyes flashed with something- anger maybe. When he tried to sit up, I held him down by his shoulders.

“Fucking leave then,” he suggested. It sounded more like a dare. “When you’ve calmed down and thought about it, you’ll probably show up again anyway.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You’re too afraid to actually admit you feel something for me when we’re not pre or post-sex. And commitment? Forget it. I bet you’re the type that’ll bail early so somebody doesn’t have the chance to leave you first.”

My fist connected with his face, whipping it to the side. Grabbing his jaw in a firm grip, I glared down at him, at the blood on his lip. He stared back, eyes narrowed, but he didn’t react.

Fuck me.

When I kissed him, I tasted copper mixed with mint. His fingers dug into my sides painfully, a remnant of his own frustration. Underneath me, I could feel his dick harden. Mine followed suit.

Was I toxic? Probably, but he was right. If I left, I would’ve come back again. He’d put some sort of hex on me and I was mad about it.

There was a knock on the door, so I pulled away, but he held onto me tightly, guiding my mouth back to his.

“I put a note to leave it at the door,” he said.

“God, you really are antisocial.”

He smiled against my lips. “Means you must be pretty special since I’m giving up my alone time for you.”

And hell, if that didn’t make my stomach flutter.