Scars and Burns (No Light Without the Dark #1)

23. Aeron

23

Aeron

I had to leave, had to get out.

I head to the billet where I find Aemond, with a woman.

Not very surprising.

She’s perched on his lap. Whispering things to him. As he nibbles on her ear. His eyes catch mine, sensing the turmoil inside of me. With a single glance we understand that there is much we need to discuss.

We meet in one of the apartments above the billet. Many reside here until they are able to find more permanent and stable arrangements. Aemond stays here full time. Assisting old and new dwellers that come to pass. We provide them with food, clothing, and protection for the time being.

I have a private room here for myself. Often needing to get out of the castle.

“So, what is troubling you?”

I’m looking out the window. Glancing down at the people we’ve helped. The work and time we’ve put into ensuring they have a future. Showing them I am more than the killer and rumors they have heard.

I feel like my Father. Looking down at his people. But with completely different viewpoints. He who is cruel, not caring for his people in any regard. Disposable and easily replaced. He sits up in his castle so distant from his kingdom. Willing to let anything and anyone suffer if it means getting what he wants.

The people of his kingdom follow and serve him out of fear. I have earned their loyalty. Their respect.

I do not stand for disrespect though. They all bow when I enter and walk past them. Providing me with the respect I deserve as heir to the throne. Still not shying away from torture to those who’ve earned it. I am still formidable and my reputation does not slip their minds. As none of them actually know who I am. Just that I am better than my Father.

“Your Grace?” Aemond tries to get my attention again.

I do not take my gaze away from the window, as I say, “I did it.” Trying to keep my tone flat.

“You killed her?” The shock in his voice is clear. “You killed Lady Dinalia?”

Aemond knew I was tasked with killing Lady Dinalia. Although, he does not know the true root of it. Like most in the army he figured her death is part of the larger plan of my Father’s to engulf the world in darkness.

“No, I did not kill her.”

“So… so what did you do?” His tone is suspicious.

“I bested my Father’s magic” I say, turning towards him. His eyes gape open. This is the moment in my life we have been waiting for. The last hurdle I needed to overcome for us to be ready to overthrow my Father.

“What happened? How did it happen? When did it happen?”

My shoulders are incredibly tense. The muscle in my jaw hurt from clenching it.

I have to tell him. He should know. Our plans are about to become a reality. And if we are going to succeed. He needs to be aware of the turmoil inside of me.

His future King.

“The right motivation is what happened.”

His brows furrow. Clearly, confused about what suddenly empowered me to almost kill my Father. “Care to elaborate on that?”

I give him a small smile. He respects me more than anyone else ever has. Always using a title, even after he found out about my disinheritance. He also has become a good friend, my only friend really. But he’s grown into a brother. We banter like we’ve grown up and known each other our whole lives.

“Yes, I would but not sober.” I walk over and sit in front of the fire. He grabs two glasses and a fresh bottle of whiskey. Sets them on the table and pours each of us a glass. Handing one to me. He leans back in his chair. A look of curiosity and amusement on his face.

I take the glass and throw it all back in one gulp. Giving him a look of warning. A look that jests and says ‘don’t be an ass’. “If you are going to know. You’ll have to know it all.”

He doesn’t even falter. He simply leans forward and refills my glass.

I give a weak laugh. He’s never shied away from anything I’ve had to say to him.

Sighing, I start from the beginning. Telling him of the two females I let live during a raid. How my Father found out and slashed my leg open. How I was then found by Queen Freya and she healed me. Finding out she knew my Mother. Leading me to question my lineage. My attempt to confront my Father about it but not before he disowned me. My everyday of torture since. The weapons and dark magic training I endured at the hands of my Father. My curious mind about Dinalia over the years. The assumption that she would be the one I was killing. Only to find Queen Freya, content on dying. Come to discover my Mother is alive, or was alive until that night when my Father killed her. Informing him of the journals I was given. The interaction I witnessed between Queen Freya and King Elio. The power she showed. King Elio murdering her. My change in perspective of Dinalia after seeing her covered in blood. The rage and darkness I saw in her eyes. Seeing her complete goddess mark. My Father, informing me he knew my Mother was alive all this time. Reassuring me I am nothing more than a pawn in his game. Using me as he sees fit. Sending me away and doing his bidding. The rage rushing through me as I threw my magic at him. I tell him about how it didn’t matter at first. He still turned my own magic against me. Wrapping me with his flames, burning my skin again. I recall to him the searing pain of his shadow magic over taking my body. Feeling it begin to consume my mind. But then somehow finding a strength inside of me I never had before. The tables turn. I coil him in my magic. Restricting his limbs, his body, his airways. My magic begins to infest his mind. I tell him about finding my Father’s soul.

Having a small laugh together to find that he actually has one. I could have done it. I could have taken his soul. Ripped it apart piece by piece until there was nothing left. But I didn’t.

Telling him about how my Father was smiling at the end of it. Smiling at the fact that I could have killed him. Satisfied that I finally countered his magic. Staring down at my complete Goddess mark, now on my sternum. Giving me leave to go. Using my title for the first time in over a decade.

I pause. He’s staring at me. No clear expression on his face. Waiting to hear if there is more.

Sighing, I might as well tell him about my interaction with Dinalia. I can’t resist her. The depth I see in her eyes. The rage and darkness inside of her that I’ve witnessed. There is something inside of her that calls to me. A pull to her I’m not sure I want to resist.

Informing him of finding her in the forest. Her accusation and assault to me. My draw to her and the desire I hold.

I stare into the fire. Its flames illuminating my face. Gulping down my entire glass. I take the bottle and refill my drink. Returning my gaze to the swirling flames.

I can feel his eyes spearing into me. Contemplating what I just told him.

He clears his throat to finally speak. “So you are of mixed blood. Your Mother has been alive all this time. Deceived by your Father. Giving you the motivation to finally overpower him. Your Father who has tortured you all your life. That is where your burns come from?” He pauses.

I nod my head. Confirming what he is saying.

Taking in a deep breath, he continues, “You now have a complete Goddess mark, identical to Lady Dinalia’s. And you say there is something there between the two of you?”

I nod again. Unsure of how much I actually want to discuss what is between us.

“She is your mate. Fated by the Goddess.”

I scuff at him. “Mate? Not possible.”

“Didn’t your Mother and Queen Freya say you would be the light in another’s life one day? What if it’s her, Lady Dinalia? You did say there was always something about her that intrigued you. That is why you let her live. And now you say there is a pull between the two of you. Not to mention you bear identical Goddess marks.”

“A pull to her. I have no way of knowing if she feels something for me. No way of revealing what is between us. Besides, I am darkness and death. How could she ever feel anything but fear for me? How could I be the light in her life?” My voice begins to rise. I can’t deny my want for her. My need for her. I’ve never wanted another woman this way.

They are in abundance for me. All fun and games. Pleasure to be had. Stress to be relieved.

But her.

Dinalia. She has my mind racing. My heart pounding. Something inside of me is drawn to something inside of her.

Rage?

Darkness?

I don’t know.

Her wild flower scent is seared into my mind. Her eyes haunt me every time I close my own. I remember the way her petite frame fit underneath mine. Her body is small and toned, but still strong. Unlike all the other soft pliable bodies I’ve had before.

My dick twitches and begins to grow as I imagine her body pinned against mine. I adjust myself. My dick beginning to strain against my pants. Strategically pushing it down with my hand and covering it.

Aemond, looks me up and down. Not missing these actions. “You want her.”

“I’m not going to deny that. She is a beautiful young lady. But that does not mean she is my mate.”

“Young lady?” His tone of voice raises, “Since when do you hold the woman of the Middle Kingdom in such high regard?”

I give him a warring look. “I’ve always given women the respect and admiration they deserve.”

He hums, “That may be. You’ve always restrained your blade to them. You’ve never raped or groped any of them as the other men of your Father’s realm do. They’ve always come willing to you. And how could they not. Your physique intrigues them and your size… in more ways than one… is always satisfying to them.”

We share a laugh. It’s true.

He continues, “But for all the women you have had. There has never been one that you’ve continued to think about in your leisure time. Not a single one that you have longed for. None that have ever had you restraining yourself… like this.” He motions toward me. Giving me another up and down glance.

I give him a glaring look, “Doesn’t mean she’s my mate. Simply means she is the first woman I have looked at and wanted that I didn’t get right away.”

“Mmmhhmm, right. And you’ve been what? Stalking her all these years. Watching her from a distance, unknowingly letting your crush bloom.”

That sparks anger in me. “ It’s not a crush! And I haven’t been stalking her!”

He holds his hands up in surrender. “Okay, okay, I’m not trying to get on your nerves. I’m just trying to understand. And help you to understand. There’s a reason you haven’t been able to confront her. Kill her. There’s a reason she’s intrigued you your entire life. She is your mate. And whether you choose to acknowledge or accept it. Your identical Goddess marks speak for themselves.”

“So what would you have me do? Confront her? Tell her she’s my mate. Bring her back to the Shadowlands and we rule together? She doesn’t even know who I am. Doesn’t even know my name.”

“Well, for starters maybe make yourself known to her. Rather than watching her. And perhaps have a conversation. Rather than just pinning her up against a tree. Allow her to get to know you and perhaps she will come around on her own.”

I lean forward. Resting my face in my hands. “I’ve never been one for conversation.”

He smirks. Leaning forward, slapping his hand on my back. “First time for everything.”

I glare over at him. Smug bastard. Always telling me what I don’t want to hear but what I need to hear.

He leans back in his chair. “One more question.”

I sit up. Take a deep breath, leaning back into my chair. “What is it?”

“What do you see when your Father invades your mind with his magic?”

That was unexpected. I’ve never really thought about it before. Too enraptured by the pain.

“Nothing. I see nothing. Only darkness .”