Secluded with the Rogue

Chapter 5

Five

Later that day

E dward was in an uncommonly uplifted mood as he went outside with a greenery gathering party that afternoon. The fact he had even joined the group was a surprise to him, but since Kitty had casually mentioned in passing that she and Nancy would go as well, that was what had made up his mind.

Since he’d mended fences with the widow that morning, the uncomfortableness on his part had all but vanished, and oddly faint hope had begun to bloom in his chest.

Everyone making up the greenery party piled into a few sleighs that would take them over the snow-covered grounds to the wooded area at the rear of the property while the hardier members of the group decided to walk through the snow. Kitty and Reggie were among those who’d decided to make the trip on foot.

Edward occupied one of the sleighs, and just as he thought that had been a poor choice on his part, for a few matrimonial-minded ladies had joined him, Nancy climbed into the sleigh. When the horse became restless and yanked at his harness and the vehicle lurched unexpectedly forward, she was dumped unceremoniously onto the bench beside him. As she crashed into his side, he settled her with an arm about her shoulders for a fleeting few seconds.

“Steady, there, Lady Havelock,” he murmured, using her title since they weren’t alone. “All right?”

“Yes, I think so.” She nodded but a faint blush stained her cheeks. From his proximity or the cold, he couldn’t say. “I can’t remember the last time I was in a sleigh.” But it had been long enough, for there was excitement and anticipation in her eyes.

“Then it’s a perfect day. Have you ever been in a party to gather Christmastide greenery?”

“I have, actually. One year when my husband insisted we go out to the Kent estate. My son was quite young at the time; I was increasing with my second child.” A tiny catch in her voice was the only outward sign of emotion. “There wasn’t much snow that year, but two days before Christmas, a storm came through, leaving us with several inches. It seemed everyone in the country wished to make good use of it, for we met so many people in the lanes and in the woods.”

“I’ll wager there was a congenial air in the midst.”

“Oh, absolutely.” As the sleigh lurched into motion, she scooted a bit away from him on the bench while the three ladies on the bench across the narrow aisle watched with varying degrees of interest. “Everyone was so happy. There was laughing and joking. Even my husband had been jovial for a time… but he didn’t come back to the manor with us.”

A muscle in his cheek ticced, for he couldn’t imagine a man treating his wife so shoddily, even if it did happen with regularity with the male members of the beau monde . More often than not, marriages were made for property and alliances, for social standing and coin, and to a lesser extent, companionship or merely to further a line. One never heard the stories of two people marrying for love.

His parents had that. Perhaps that was why he was being so picky about taking a bride. Over the years, he’d learned a few things, and he wanted more than the wife, he wanted love.

“Then let us hope that this outing will give you new and happier memories.”

At her other side, a younger man nodded. “I quite agree. This time of year is supposed to be to conjure good cheer. If you would like company or someone who can tell you jokes, Lady Havelock, I would be delighted to keep you company.”

Oddly, a swift stab of jealousy went through Edward’s chest. “How generous of you, Lord Siever, but the viscountess and I have a prior history. No doubt we’ll use this time to visit with each other.”

One of the ladies across from him tittered and made cow eyes at first him and then Lord Siever. “There are plenty of ladies here for you to chat with. Besides, we will need someone to protect us from tripping on hidden roots or falling in the snow.”

And at least one of them would make certain someone saw a compromising position, which would lead to entrapment.

While Nancy tried unsuccessfully to tamp a grin beside him, he shook his head. “Lord Siever will see that none of you injure yourselves. No doubt gathering greenery won’t take all that long, and you’ll be back warming your hands by the fire at the manor.”

Witty banter and joking occupied his time for the remainder of the ride to the wooded area at the southwest corner of his property. Though he listened with half an ear and only responded every so often, most of his attention was on the woman seated next to him. She talked politely with the ladies and responded to Lord Siever’s flirting with a firm politeness, but none of them were privy to her smiles or soul-deep admissions as he had been.

It had been quite some time since he’d last visited this portion of the estate. Perhaps it had been when he’d caught Kitty and Reg in that compromising position early last summer, for when he’d returned to London, there had been much to do, especially as his sister prepared for her wedding. And since she was his baby sister and last remaining sibling to marry, he’d more or less spoiled her… when she let him.

“Lord Armestead?”

A light touch to his shoulder brought him out of his thoughts. With a startled blink, he focused on Nancy. “Yes?”

“We’ve arrived. Everyone else has left the sleigh.”

“Oh.” He nodded. “Sorry. I was woolgathering, apparently.” After clambering out of the vehicle, Edward assisted her down. “Where is everyone?”

“They left to hunt for greenery.” One of her blonde eyebrows rose in question. “Are you quite well? You seem a bit confused.”

“Perhaps that might be it. I haven’t been to this section of my estate in quite a while, had forgotten about it, honestly.” Then he fell into step beside her as they entered the woods.

Here, the snow hadn’t accumulated as deep as over the lawn and meadows, but it was still a charming wintertime scene with the bare branches of the trees dark against the stark whiteness of the snow. A few footmen who’d come out with the party were setting up ladders against some of the oak trees while a group of younger guests waited for others to climb for mistletoe while another group went off in search of spruce and pine as well as holly. They took hand saws with them.

“Should we cut some evergreen boughs?”

Briefly, she held her bottom lip between her teeth, and he couldn’t help dropping his gaze to her mouth. Would a kiss with her feel as lovely as it had thirteen years ago? When she released it, a sigh of relief shuddered from him. “Do I have your permission to walk about and explore? It’s so wonderful here in the trees, where everything is quiet and hushed from the snow.”

“Of course.” He waved a hand to indicate the area around them. “You needn’t ask for my permission. Do whatever makes you happy.” Then when she immediately left to go further into the woods, he could do nothing except follow. Most of the party was busy, in any event, so his absence wouldn’t go immediately noticed.

Not that he cared.

“Oh, heavens, it’s like a fairy land back here. So pretty!”

The awe in her voice made him grin. “There is a folly nearby. My sisters used to play in it and have tea parties when they were younger. Just this past summer, Kitty used it as a love nest, which led to her engagement and eventual marriage.”

Nancy laughed and that bit of tinkling mirth did indeed sound like fairy magic. “I can’t say that I blame her. Imagine how tucked away and unbothered someone could be back here. I hope the sun comes out at some point while I’m here. I want to come back and see it sparkle on the snow.”

“I’ll make a point to escort you out should that happen.” It was England in December, so it was anyone’s guess as to whether the sun would make an appearance.

“Thank you.” Amusement danced in her eyes, that were more green than brown. “Might we see the folly? My father had a folly once, but since it was old and in disrepair, it had fallen at some point early in my childhood.”

“Certainly. Come with me.” At the last second, he refrained from taking her hand, but there was an uncommon pull between them… unless it was his imagination.

N ancy pulled the folds of her cloak more tightly around her as they went deeper into the woods. In the distance, laughter and calls from the greenery party rang on the frozen air, but they were quickly forgotten as she swept her gaze over the breadth of Edward’s shoulders and the red muffler he wore above the collar of his greatcoat. His beaver felt top hat lay slightly tilted at a rakish angle, but that made him even more intriguing.

Perhaps fifty yards into the trees, they came upon a weed-choked clearing where a single castle tower stood as if it had fallen from a large edifice centuries ago.

He glanced over his shoulder at her. “In my grandparents’ time, it was quite popular to put follies such as this into gardens as a feature of interest, for they serve no practical purpose.”

“Are there rooms inside?”

“A couple. I thought about using this as a guest house of sorts, but since it’s too removed from the manor, I decided against it.”

“Ah.” She gazed up at the structure. The tower soared only three stories into the air. A couple of windows looked out onto the world, and a wooden door lay hidden behind ivy and vines. “It’s quite charming.” And conjured up storybook fantasies of knights and maidens and evil queens.

“You are in luck, for I do have a key with me,” he said with a hush in his voice as they approached.

She snorted. “Do you use this as a rendezvous place with your lovers?”

“Hardly. In fact, there has been precious little bed sport with me for months.”

How interesting. “Then by all means, show me in.”

“Anxious, are you?” Edward moved a few of the vines away from the door’s lock, inserted the key, and with some force, turned the locking mechanism. “It’s been made much easier since Kitty utilized the space recently. I remember when rust made turning the locking mechanism much more difficult.”

“It’s impressive, nonetheless. Imagine a hidden place tucked away in the woods where no one would bother you.” As the earl pushed open the wooden door, she held her breath and followed him. The panel creaked and groaned with age and hinges that hadn’t been oiled, but they quickly entered the tower.

“It’s close quarters, but there is a room at the top. That is where my sisters used to conduct their tea parties and play their games.”

“And you? Did you join them?”

“Only if I could be a knight riding to their rescue on my horse.” He closed the door, and shadows swallowed up the space. “Then, because I was a bit of a prick, I would demand they all come home to the manor house where they would learn to act like proper ladies.”

“Clearly, I side with the girls.”

There was a decided chill inside the stone folly, and it was full of shadows since the only windows were high up. A narrow stone staircase wound tightly upward, and that’s where Edward led her. Someone must have been tasked with caretaking the structure, for there was not the grittiness of dirt beneath his boots nor were there cobwebs clinging anywhere.

“Of course you would, but I didn’t want them to grow up hoydens.”

“But you also didn’t want them to exclude you in their play time.”

“There is possibly some truth to that.”

She heard rather than saw the grin in his voice. “Yet according to you, Kitty became a hoyden anyway. Did you think you’d failed as her older brother?” It was a fascinating peek into his world.

“A bit, for she was the baby of the family. I wanted the best for her.” The sound of their boot soles hitting the stone steps seemed to echo in the silence. “But everything worked out as it should when she married my best friend.”

“You were quite fortunate in that. She could have married someone you didn’t favor, and he might have taken her away from you.”

“There is that, and for a long time, I fought against her encouraging Reggie’s suit.”

“Why?”

He shrugged. “I didn’t think him good enough for her, but then he made me realize there are many different sorts of men in the world, and they don’t require a title to be useful or even upstanding.”

Then they reached the top where the stairs emptied into a hexagon-shaped room with two windows. Furnished like a bed chamber in any manor house but on a smaller scale, the room contained a bed, a square table with four wooden chairs, a wooden shelf that still held books and games, all waiting and ready for those four little girls to remember their presence. Sheets protected the bed, and as Edward tugged the same from a rather comfortable-looking brocade winged-back chair, she suddenly had the opportunity to peer into his childhood.

“Why is there not more dust here? The room has been perfectly preserved.”

“Every quarter, someone comes down to clean the folly and check it over for repairs.” His voice echoed slightly in the silence. “At times, when I’m in residence at Armestead Hall, I pop over here for some quiet reading time… or the opportunity to vanish if I don’t wish to be found.”

“I don’t blame you. It must be a burden having the title of earl bestowed upon you.”

“It is, rather.”

As she looked about the space, she noted a stack of modern novels and books touching on various subjects stacked near the chair. On a nearby table rested a pipe and a porcelain box that probably contained tobacco leaves; even the air retained a hint of that scent as well as a bit of oak and apple. A thick woolen blanket had been draped over the back of the chair. The room held all the trappings of a gentleman’s retreat.

“I’ll wager you come here more often than you care to admit.” Not that there was anything wrong with that. Even an earl needed privacy at times.

“I won’t deny it.” His chuckle echoed in the room and tickled through her insides. “It’s easier to think here, somehow, and now I understand why Kitty used it to get away from everything… including me.”

“Siblings do that.” She moved to the window. Down below and in the distance through the winter-bare branches of the trees, the greenery gathering party was visible. A snowball fight had apparently just gotten underway. Softly grinning, she turned about to regard her unlikely companion. “It doesn’t mean she didn’t love you.”

“Perhaps. Out of all my sisters, she’s proved the most interesting.”

Nancy nodded. “She is a lovely friend and confidant.”

“Which is odd unto itself. But I shall refrain from questioning you about that for a later time.” He joined her at the window, and immediately the heat of him reached out to her. “In all honesty, I don’t know what I would do without my sisters and their husbands. They are my family, and somehow, having them close during this time of year makes me miss my parents a tiny bit less.”

“I understand that all too well,” she admitted in a low voice. “I miss my own parents terribly; they died in a carriage accident several years ago, and I don’t have any living siblings.”

“You are truly alone in the world then.”

“Except for my son.” A sigh escaped her. “Life is like that. However, I do keep in touch with my mother-in-law. The dowager viscountess lives with her daughters in Kent. Though she has difficulties getting around, from her letters, she is happy there.”

He briefly touched her hand. Awareness shivered over her skin. “And you will have the training of your son to take the title someday.”

“I will, and that is another thing that worries me. So much of that life was shut away from me, for my husband rarely talked about his position, and he was rarely home as well. What if I fail my son?”

“You won’t, for you are a strong woman. And if you are still on speaking terms with your in-laws, then that whole side of the family wasn’t as foul as your husband.” When she raised her gaze to his, he nodded. “Between all of you, he will have the gist.”

“I can only hope you are right.” What must it be like to lean on his strength for a few moments?

For long moments, he held her gaze, and she trembled from the intensity of that stare. “Why doesn’t she live with you? From what I’ve seen of you, there is quite a lot of compassion and nurturing there, even if you are holding onto anger.”

Nancy narrowed her eyes at him. “As if you aren’t?” One of her eyebrows rose, and he had the grace to blush. “The pair of us need to find an outlet for tamped emotions. Perhaps indulging in the snowball fight that is raging outside would be a start.” But she didn’t wish to move from the folly. There was a certain sacredness here, a removal from the world, and she rather enjoyed sharing these moments with him. “Regardless, the dowager doesn’t care for London. Despite wishing to hide from society just now, I usually adore the hustle and bustle of Town.”

When he grinned, she stared, for it made him appear younger and took some of the stress from his visage. “So do I. There is so much life in London.”

Again, the thought of being kissed by him crossed her mind. “We have already discussed it, but I miss some of the parties and routs in society, but I don’t miss them at the same time. It is difficult to explain.”

“I understand that more than I can also explain.” For whatever reason, he lifted a hand and twirled an escaped lock of hair about his gloved index finger. “Now I wonder if it’s age, a sudden feeling of mortality, or regret that’s holding me captive.”

She couldn’t breathe for he was so close, but the word “regret” bounced about her mind like a soap bubble. To what did he refer? Had he once loved a woman, but it wasn’t to be? Then, as she raised her gaze to his, nearly tumbled into those dark depths, the idea that perhaps he regretted letting her go suddenly danced into her brain.

Surely that wasn’t true, for they’d barely known each other years ago, and still didn’t.

“Perhaps a mixture of both. We all have regrets; we’ve all tortured ourselves with stories of how our lives might have gone had we made different decisions.”

“Even you?” The words were said in a barely audible whisper.

“Yes.” Every thought fell out of her head, for he moved his hand to cup her cheek, and his gloved fingers furrowed into her hair. “Yet without the decisions we did make, we wouldn’t be the people we are today.”

“That is true. When did you become so wise, Nancy?”

The sound of her name in his voice sent a shiver of need down her spine. “I’m not sure I feel particularly wise most times,” she managed to get out from a tight throat.

“Perhaps it doesn’t matter.” Then he lowered his head and claimed her lips with a gentle kiss that left her senses reeling and every nerve ending calling out for more. It was much different than the kiss he’d given her years ago, but it didn’t demand her attention any less.

Seconds later, he pulled slightly away, his gaze searching hers for something she didn’t know, but she gave him a tiny nod and rested her palms on his chest. A thrill zipped down her spine when he pulled her into a loose embrace and kissed her again. The firm press of his warm lips had tiny fires starting in her blood and need coiling in her lower belly.

Before she could do much more than curl her fingers into the lapels of his greatcoat, he broke the embrace and let her go. They stood staring at each other. The shock in his dark eyes mirrored what washed over her, but there was also surprise and a tiny bit of growing hunger there as well. Exactly what rushed through every point of her body.

“I apologize. That wasn’t well done of me.” His breath clouded about his head, yet oddly enough, she’d forgotten about the cold.

“Don’t ruin the moment with an unneeded apology.” Her laugh sounded far too nervous for her liking as she backed away. “It is somewhat comforting to know you haven’t lost her potency over the years, but perhaps we should head back to the greenery gathering party before they start searching for us.”

“Right.” The earl nodded. “Wouldn’t want to cause a scandal.” A touch of bitterness went through his words.

She blew out a breath. “That’s not it.”

“Then what?”

“I wouldn’t want the magic of this particular moment destroyed by someone who wouldn’t understand the spirit in which it was offered.” Then, because she was swamped with confusion, Nancy fled the room and took the twisting stone stairs more quickly than she ought.

The sound of his bootheels on the treads behind her let her know he’d followed. Once at the ground level, he stayed her with a hand on her arm.

“Thank you for that interlude.” There was nothing but honesty in his expression. “It was unlike anything I’ve had in the past several months. Perhaps it is the shove I’ve been needing to finally make that first step onto my new path.”

She nodded. “You are quite welcome. I hope we both find what we are searching for soon.” Was coming here a mistake after all?

Too soon to tell.