Shattered (Koa #5)

36. Lila

Chapter 36

Lila

“ H ow are we gonna do this?” Asher asks.

I need to wash up. Hours and hours of sleeping in bed with nightmares and sweats have left me feeling awful. My hair is practically glued to the back of my neck. But I can’t exactly take a shower. Thankfully, my house has two bathrooms, one on each level, both equipped with a bathtub. There’s a shower chair in the tub for Asher, along with a commode seat over the toilet. I still can’t get over the change in him, how he went from exploding at anyone who would even mention his leg to voluntarily having surgery and putting himself in a wheelchair.

“My bandages can’t get wet, so can you wash me with a cloth? Once that’s done, we’ll wash my hair over the tub. Is that okay? ”

“You’re the boss,” he says.

After running some soapy water, I sit on the toilet lid, and Asher sits in front of me in his wheelchair. He starts with my upper body, keeping the bandages dry but ensuring I’m clean. Despite our closeness, I’m still a little shaky around him. I think he senses it because he’s completely professional as he washes me. In fact, his touch feels gentle, especially in the sensitive areas. Once I’m clean, he helps me towel off and change into clean underwear and sweatpants. I leave my shirt off for now so it won’t get wet.

To wash my hair, I kneel on the bathroom floor and rest my neck on the tub’s edge, letting my hair fall in. It’s not very comfortable, but it’ll have to do. Asher sits in his chair beside me, grabbing the hose that’s already loose and hanging at the bottom.

When he starts the water, it first pours from the faucet, and the sound of water thundering against the bathtub immediately puts me on edge. The running water puts me right back in the bathroom at the cabin when the brothers topped up the bath with the hottest water from the tap since I splashed so much of it out.

It makes a lump form in my stomach.

Once the shower head starts spitting water, I relax a little until it begins to run over my hair. The second the warm water hits my scalp, my whole body seizes up in a panic, and I throw my head up out of the tub, scaring the fuck out of Asher. He quickly surrounds my dripping hair with a towel so I don’t spill over my bandages.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry,” I cry.

Before I can fully implode, Asher grabs me by the arms, pulling me up towards his lap. I sit on his good leg, my legs resting between his. His arms warmly surround me, grounding me and bringing me back to earth.

“You’re okay, Sunshine.”

“I panicked,” I cry.

“I know. It’s gonna happen. We’ll work through it.”

“How am I supposed to wash my hair?” I weep.

Asher kisses my forehead, stroking my hair sweetly. “We’ll figure out another way. For now, breathe.”

It takes me ages to calm down enough to stand up. When I finally do, Asher squeezes my hand gently to keep us connected.

“What do you want to do?” he asks.

My hair needs to be washed. But with my head spinning and my pulse as high as it is, I can’t even think straight. All I know is I’m absolutely not doing that again.

“I don’t know. I just wanna lay down again.”

Asher nods. “Want me to come with you?”

“You were gonna shower too, weren’t you?”

“I can wait.”

“You shower. I’ll be fine.” I could use a breather, alone.

He nods in understanding. “Before you go, could you help me in?”

“Of course,” I say, my voice a little stronger. Asher asking for help? What a twist.

To my surprise, we get him in there fairly easily by working together. He uses the rail in the tub to hold his weight while I pull down his pants, and then he sits in the chair. Once he’s seated, I remove his pants the rest of the way, eyeing the two small bandages on his leg from his surgery.

I almost expect some backhanded insult from him about how he doesn’t need help. Instead, he turns to me, his eyes filled with nothing but relief and gratitude.

“Thank you,” he says softly.

“You’re welcome,” I say sweetly. Since he can’t reach the shower head, I pull it down for him and give him my bottles of soap, shampoo, and a cloth. I make a mental note to have Neela or Macy pick some men’s products up for him. In a pinch, mine will do.

“Do you want some help? You can’t get those wet,” I say, motioning to his bandages.

“I think I’ve got it from here, Sunshine,” he says gently, removing his shirt so he’s completely naked.

After getting an idea, I head into the kitchen, nodding a hello to Macy sitting at the table. I grab a garbage bag from the pantry and bring it back in to Asher. I place it over his bad thigh to protect the bandages.

“That should help, at least.”

He smiles slightly. “Thanks, Sunshine.”

I remove his walker and bring his wheelchair back in, parking it beside the shower. Then I grab his clean clothes and place them on the chair under a fluffy towel so everything he needs is within reach.

“Just holler when you’re ready to get out.”

“Will do.”

After Asher’s finished in the shower and back in his wheelchair, Macy helps me with my hair. She washes it for me in a big salad bowl in the kitchen, with no running water on my scalp. I opt for cold water to help with the cruel bite of the heat. Having my scalp submerged in any water at all makes me feel physically ill, but for a few minutes, it’s manageable. Once it’s clean, she also washes the back of my neck, making me feel so much better. Asher stays with me the whole time, squeezing my hands.

Macy shows Asher how to blow dry my hair, and while he starts, Macy looks up some braid tutorial videos. Once it’s dry, Macy puts in a crown braid so it’s secure and off my neck. Asher watches her do it, and Macy teaches him how. They end up taking my hair down so Asher can do it himself. I can’t see the result, but it feels less secure than Macy’s. He redoes it twice before he’s happy with it, and it feels perfectly secure on my head.

If someone had told me a week ago that Asher would be braiding my hair, I’d have told them to jump in a river.