Shelf-Made Man

Chapter 6

Chapter

Six

A pparently Alfie had never been in a car before, and it seemed that his pain was subdued by the novelty of zooming down I-5.

“Are you sure you’re not bleeding?” Tobias asked for the third or fourth time. He didn’t want to take his eyes from the road.

Alfie reached over and patted Tobias’s leg. “You saved me. You’re a hero.”

“Pfft.” Tobias didn’t feel heroic. In fact, he kept remembering the noise the statue made when it hit each troll’s head, and the memory made him queasy. At least he hadn’t seen any blood. “Do you think they’re dead?”

“Perhaps. But trolls are hard to kill. In any case, don’t feel bad about it. Given the opportunity, they would have murdered you. And my fate… well, I’d prefer not to speak of it.”

Tobias frowned at the traffic in front of him. “I was always the biggest kid in my class, and because of that, Mom would tell me that I had a special duty to be careful with others. She said I should never let my temper cause me to harm anyone.”

“But surely she wouldn’t have disapproved of protecting yourself—or a wounded charge—from two vicious attackers.”

“I guess not.” Tobias sighed and frowned even more fiercely. “But the thing is… I liked it. The fighting part, I mean.” That was hard to admit, especially to himself.

For a mile or two, Alfie was silent, and if not for his warm hand still resting on Tobias’s leg, Tobias might have assumed he was shocked or upset. When Alfie spoke, however, his voice was gentle. “I don’t believe anyone can be blamed for how they feel—only for the actions they take. And I don’t believe you’ve abused your strength or allowed bloodlust to rule you.”

Bloodlust . Tobias shuddered.

Alfie’s comments had made him feel slightly better, though, and he shot him a grateful smile. The smile turned into a semi-hysterical guffaw when Tobias realized they were driving past the Enchanted Forest theme park. He’d adored that place when he was a boy—little knowing that one day he’d meet fairy tale beings in the real world.

“It’s a pretty long drive to San Francisco,” he said after a while. “Ten hours or more. Would we be safe if we took two days to do it? If the trolls won’t track us down, we could stay the night in a hotel somewhere.” He could have managed the uninterrupted drive but was concerned about Alfie, still recovering from injuries.

“I think that should be fine.”

Although Tobias would have preferred something more reassuring than I think , he’d take what he could get. “Get some rest, then. I’ll stop for food and gas in a couple of hours.” When Alfie made a grunt that may have been agreement, Tobias added, “You can recline your seat if you want. There’s a handle on?—”

“I’m comfortable, thank you.” Instead of sleeping, Alfie seemed intent on watching the scenery. Trees, fields, occasional small cities: maybe those looked exotic to him.

Tobias had so many questions that he didn’t know where to begin, but he also didn’t want to disturb Alfie’s peace. The poor guy had been through a lot in a short time. So instead, Tobias ruminated on the events back in Portland. After the troll attack, he’d hurriedly gathered his laptop, some clothes for both of them, and a few other belongings. Then he’d followed Alfie’s directions and dragged the trolls into the narrow space between his house and the neighbor’s fence. At the time, Tobias had thought that the trolls were still breathing, but he wasn’t sure and he didn’t waste time finding out. Then he’d helped Alfie into the car and headed south.

If the trolls were dead, someone would notice eventually. They wouldn’t be visible from the street due to some shrubbery, and decomposition might take some time in the chilly air. But they were big, and a pair of big corpses would make themselves known. Then, presumably, the police would be called, and Tobias would have some difficult explanations ahead of him when he returned.

He decided not to think about that.

The better option was that the trolls would wake up—maybe they already had—and get the hell out of there. Which would be nice from a not-going-to-jail perspective but would also mean they’d be back, probably soon, with reinforcements. And while Alfie might be their target, they probably held a pretty dim view of Tobias at this point.

Life had been a lot simpler before Aunt Virginia gave him that box. With Alfie beside him, however, bright and beautiful and very much alive, Tobias held few regrets.

“That was an interesting weapon,” Alfie said out of the blue, somewhere south of Eugene.

“What?”

“The one you chose to fight the trolls.”

“It’s just, um, art. And it was handy.”

“Yes. But presumably you didn’t acquire it with the intention of using it to brain assailants.”

“Presumably,” Tobias muttered. Then, because Alfie was waiting patiently, he sighed and explained. “It was a gift from Aunt Virginia, actually. When I was a freshman in college, I complained to my mom about having to study the ancient Greeks. I didn’t think they were particularly relevant to me. I guess Mom told Aunt Virginia, and my aunt sent me the statue because the wrestlers are hot and she figured I’d suddenly find the Greeks way more interesting.”

Alfie chuckled softly. “And was she right?”

“I didn’t become a classical scholar or anything, but… yeah. I passed the class.”

“So the statue has been useful more than once. Your aunt must care about you very much.”

“She and Mom are the only people who ever—” Tobias stopped, not wanting to sound too pathetic. But there was Alfie’s hand on Tobias’s leg again, and somehow confessions seemed to flow when he was around. “Who ever loved me,” he finished quietly.

“Now I love you as well.”

Tobias nearly drove off the road. “We just met!” he protested after he’d steered the car back to safety.

“And in that short time, you have proved kind, considerate, and brave. You have given up your bed, cared for me tenderly and with respect for my dignity, defended me physically, and fled your home at a moment’s notice in order to help me. I’ve never met anyone like you. And don’t discount my love, please. An elfin prince does not easily or capriciously allow himself to love.”

Since Tobias couldn’t come up with a reasonable response, he remained silent. But—despite his bizarre and precarious circumstances—some of the jagged places of his soul felt soothed.

They made a pit stop in Roseburg and, after enjoying a fried chicken sandwich, Alfie fell asleep. That left Tobias alone with his thoughts, a solitude that he found surprisingly uncomfortable despite being how he’d spent most of his life. He turned the radio on low and found a classic rock station that reminded him of his mother, who used to belt out Grateful Dead and AC/DC songs on their road trips together.

Alfie stirred a little south of the California border. He groaned a bit as he moved but quickly went silent and patted Tobias’s arm. “I’m sorry I’m such poor company.”

“You need your rest.”

“Even so.”

“I’m going to stop for the night sometime soon.” They were at about the halfway point, the sun had set, and Tobias was hungry again. He was also tired of staring at the highway.

“All right.” Alfie yawned and then laughed at himself. “I promise, I’m usually not this useless.”

“You’ve, uh, had a pretty rough time of things.”

“I have. I was going to tell you my tale, wasn’t I? Before the trolls interrupted us. Shall I do it now?”

“Please.” Tobias may have answered a bit over-enthusiastically, failing in his attempt to play it cool and pretend like he hadn’t been dying to hear. But he’d been waiting for over a day now, and patience wasn’t always his best virtue. Honestly, he felt as if he’d exercised admirable restraint in not pestering Alfie to spill hours ago.

As if reading Tobias’s thoughts, Alfie chuckled again. It was a very sexy chuckle, the kind that sent Tobias’s mind all sorts of naughty places despite his overwhelming curiosity. That laugh reminded Tobias that it had been months since he’d managed a quick hookup with anyone and much longer since he’d had sex with anyone who wasn’t a stranger. Until Alfie came along, he wasn’t sure of the last time he’d been touched.

“My father is— was , dammit—Claus Clausen, and he was our king. That sounds rather more impressive than it is. Ours is a very small kingdom and we owe our allegiance to the Emperor of the Sparkling Plains. My father was a good ruler: intelligent and just and beloved by our people. The Emperor considered him an important advisor.”

Alfie’s voice rang with pride, which Tobias understood. He’d felt that way about his own mother. She hadn’t been royalty, of course, but she’d been brilliant and good . Alfie had also used the past tense.

“Has your father passed away?” Tobias asked gently.

“He… yes.” A heavy sigh. “The Emperor has been losing strength. Our world is intimately connected with yours, you see, and I believe that your changing weather patterns have resulted in the waning of the Emperor’s power.”

“Climate change is ruining things for you too?” Tobias was appalled at the concept. It was horrifying enough to see people destroying one world, but to know that they were damaging another as well…. It was awful beyond belief.

“Yes.” Alfie was clearly saddened. “And there are those who would prey upon his weakness. They would like to see the empire disintegrate so their own authority can grow. My older brother is one of them.”

Tobias, who had an intuition regarding where this might be going, took his gaze off the road just long enough to glance at Alfie’s bleak expression. “Oh no,” Tobias said.

Alfie gave one of his comforting leg squeezes. “Kol and I have never gotten on well. He’s three years older than I am and has never let me forget that he is the heir. Father tried so hard to teach Kol kindness, humility, and patience, but with little success. And I was not blameless. Free of the heir’s responsibilities, I’ve often been a bit, well, wild. Kol envies my relative freedom.”

Silence settled between them for a few minutes, the tires humming against the pavement and the engine purring along. They were surrounded by trees now, and the forest seemed especially dark and mysterious, especially since there were fewer cars about.

“Do you have siblings?” Alfie’s question surprised Tobias.

“It was just Mom and me.”

He had sometimes longed for a brother or sister, but single parenthood was hard enough with one child, he supposed. And a greedy part of him treasured having his mother to himself.

“I believe that family relationships tend to be complicated under any circumstances. But when the family is royal, that can add even more layers.”

Tobias thought about all the headlines and memes he’d seen about the British royals and nodded.

Alfie continued his story. “Father and Kol argued about what to do regarding the Emperor and the empire, but Kol could only press so hard. Although I backed Father, he asked me to stay quiet about it, since my open involvement in the disagreement would only make things worse. He hoped that eventually Kol would change his views.”

It wasn’t fair. All the Christmas season kitsch depicted elves as jolly little fellows concerned mostly with making toys and maybe baking cookies. In reality, though, it sounded as if they had much more serious problems to deal with. The lore should have acknowledged that elves’ lives could also be tough.

“Kol didn’t change his views, I take it?” Tobias prompted.

“I think he might have eventually. He’s not… not evil.” Alfie’s voice was pained. “But he fell under Snjokarl’s influence.”

Tobias definitely wanted to hear more about this, but towns were few and far between in this area and they were approaching one large enough to advertise lodging. “I’m going to stop in a sec. Tell me the rest over dinner?”

“Yes, good. I need to think about how to explain this fairly. ”

The next exit led them through the trees. “Reminds me of home,” Alfie said wistfully.

They drove down a slope, past a few blocks of houses followed by a few blocks of businesses. Beyond that was a motor court inn: about a half-dozen small cabins with a parking lot on one side and a river on the other. The neon sign glowed Vacancy , which was a relief.

Alfie seemed content to remain in the car while Tobias ducked into the office, where a sleepy-looking older man swiped Tobias’s credit card and handed over a key to Cabin C. With Tobias steadying him, Alfie made it into the cabin and collapsed heavily onto a chair that looked too spindly to hold Tobias’s bulk.

“Quaint,” Tobias commented. The décor was… vintage, to put it kindly, with a cabin-in-the-woods theme to the furniture, bedding, and artwork. Definitely not luxe, but it was clean and there were no lurking trolls, which was good enough for now. There was also only one bed, but it was a king and therefore plenty big enough to share.

“Do you want me to bring us some food?”

Alfie shook his head. “Give me a few moments and then I should like to accompany you, if it isn’t far.”

Although Tobias was a bit doubtful about Alfie moving around too much, he didn’t argue. “There’s a place just down the road. Do you want me to check your wounds first?”

“No. I’m fine.” Alfie smiled.

They took turns freshening up in the bathroom and then, before they ventured outside, Tobias handed Alfie a knitted beanie he’d brought along. “You, uh, might want to cover your….” Not sure whether he was being insensitive, he touched the top of one of his own ears—rounded instead of pointed.

Luckily, Alfie didn’t seem at all offended. In fact, he stroked the colorful wool. “It’s a beautiful hat.” He placed it carefully on his head.

Tobias felt his cheeks heat. “Thanks. I made it.” He’d learned to knit during the pandemic because the idea of turning a long string into something useful had seemed a little like magic, and because it seemed a logical accompaniment to sewing. One of his few social activities was a Wednesday evening group stitch at a nearby yarn store. None of the other attendees seemed taken aback by his size, and he didn’t feel awkward conversing about patterns and colorways and fibers. The event was on hiatus for the holidays, however, and now he wondered if he’d ever get to return.

Alfie, who—predictably—looked handsome in the hat, was beaming at him. “You have so many talents.” And he didn’t seem to intend any sarcasm.

When they stepped outside, Tobias was even more grateful he’d brought the hat. It was cold, and a few stray snowflakes danced through the light of the streetlamps. Although Tobias was fairly impervious to frigid temperatures, the last thing he wanted was Alfie getting a chill.

They walked slowly, Alfie leaning heavily on Tobias’s arm but not complaining. “This place reminds me a bit of home,” he said wistfully.

“You have mountains?”

“Mine is the Kingdom of the Five Sisters, each of which is a snowy peak. According to legend, they were once women—not blood sisters, but close friends. When they grew old, they persuaded a wizard to turn them into mountains so that they could remain together. When storms blow winds down the slopes and into the valleys, we say that the sisters are laughing together over a private joke. Sometimes they rumble and belch ashes, and then we say they’re arguing.”

They reached the front door of a place called Black Bart’s, which was unsurprisingly done up in a mild stagecoach-bandit theme overlaid with Christmas decorations. There were only a few other customers, and the teenage girl who seated them looked thoroughly bored.

Alfie, however, was fascinated and kept twisting around to take in his surroundings, even though doing so clearly hurt. He exclaimed quietly over the old photos, the spurs and other horsey paraphernalia hanging on the walls, and the battered old piano in the corner. His eyes grew huge over the menu, which offered a fairly pedestrian array of steaks, burgers, sandwiches, and salads. “So many options! Will you order for me, please?”

That was more responsibility than Tobias felt comfortable with. “I don’t know what you like and don’t like.”

“I’m sure I’ll enjoy whatever you have.”

What Tobias ended up ordering was a bowl of chicken noodle soup with bread rolls, an enormous bacon cheeseburger with fries, and a peppermint milkshake. It was a lot—he knew that. But he was a big guy, plus he figured he couldn’t be blamed for wanting to drown his troubles in calories. Not after the day he’d had.

To his surprise, not only did Alfie avoid any snide comments about the quantity of food, he matched Tobias pretty much bite for bite, making appreciative noises as he went. “You’re staring,” Alfie said with a good-humored glint in his eyes.

“I’m admiring your ability to enjoy a meal.”

“This is an excellent one. And it will help with my healing.”

That reminded Tobias of his mother, who used to insist that a good meal would cure almost all of Tobias’s ills. And maybe she’d been right. He rarely caught whatever virus was making the rounds, and when everyday mishaps resulted in scrapes or bruises, he was good as new within a day or so. Even his broken arm had healed fast enough to surprise the doctor.

They were both so busy eating that they didn’t discuss anything of consequence, which was honestly a relief. Tobias could almost pretend they were on a date. Alfie was certainly good company—funny and bright and interested in everything he saw. He charmed the waitress too, seemingly without effort, and she ended up bringing them an order of onion rings on the house because, she said, they were such appreciative eaters.

But Tobias couldn’t continue to ignore the troll-related elephant in the room. While he and Alfie waited for slices of what the waitress assured them was the best chocolate cake in Siskiyou County, Tobias did what he had to do. “Are you ready to tell me about Kol and Snjokarl?”

Alfie nodded glumly as he toyed with his fork. “I suppose so. You’ve been patient with me, and you’re certainly entitled to hear the rest. Snjokarl is a prince as well, in the much larger and wealthier kingdom to our south. It makes him a powerful elf indeed, even though he has two older sisters and is therefore not the heir. I believe that since he cannot inherit the crown, he exerts his influence elsewhere.”

“Like on Kol.”

“Just so. My brother sees him simply as an ally, not a threat, and that’s been another point of contention between us. In any case, Snjokarl has done an excellent job of whispering in Kol’s ear and undermining everything my father attempted with him.” Alfie twisted his fork hard enough to bend it, then looked chagrined and set it down. “Where once Kol was only mildly interested in leaving the empire, now he’s become fixed on the idea. Obsessed, really.”

Tobias nodded. “Snjokarl radicalized him.”

“I suppose—” Alfie tensed suddenly, his wide-eyed gaze fixed on something over Tobias’s shoulder.