Sorrow (Cape Frost #1)

23

The rain is so cold as it slaps against my bare legs that it only makes me cry harder. I’ve watched enough tv to know that walks of shame are a real thing, but I never thought I’d have one without at least getting laid first.

I just feel stupid. How could I let Hayes get so far under my skin? How could I let him rewrite everything about me without even realizing it was happening? I’m an idiot. I played a dangerous game, and I won the worst prize of all. Now I’m stuck here and I’ll be even more isolated than I was before. Word will spread that the cursed girl, the virgin bitch, the town whore, whatever the fuck they want to call me tried to screw Nate Jackson while he had a girlfriend. No one will blame him, I’m sure. Only me. The double standard is strong around here.

God, I can’t believe I fumbled this bad .

But the curse isn’t done screwing with me tonight. I see Hayes’ blacked out Camaro rolling through the stop sign just ahead of me and know he must’ve gotten my note. So what’s he doing here? Was he coming to give me pointers?

The tires squeal on the wet road as he parks, and I barely have time to react before he’s racing toward me on foot. “Go away,” I mumble. “I’ll find my truck eventually.”

“Did you do it?” he growls, breathing heavily before me as the rain begins falling so hard we have to yell to be heard. “Did you fucking do it?”

“No, I didn’t!” Suddenly, I’m a little girl again, staring up at him after he told me what the song “Dancing in the Moonlight” was really about. It was my favorite song, and the sneer on his face when he told me the songwriter wrote it after his girlfriend was violently raped by a gang sucked all the life right out of me. He was envisioning a better life, Hayes had said, and so was I. But the truth behind it was rotten just like us. “I couldn’t do it. You ruined me, Hayes. Are you happy? You fucking ruined me.”

“I ruined you?” He huffs a humorless laugh, his right hand shooting up to tug my hair back while the other grips my chin roughly. “I ruined you? No, Hurricane. You. Ruined. Me.”

When his mouth crashes to mine, I realize just how much he’s trembling, and somehow I know the storm isn’t the cause of it.

He’s as fucked up as I am.

“I hate you,” I whisper, wishing I still actually believed that. “I hate you.”

“I know,” he breaths into me, kissing me heatedly a few seconds longer before he speaks again, only this time he lifts me off the ground to straddle him. “I hate you too.”

Already, the cold I feel starts to fade. His hands are blazing hot on my bare thighs, his lips like fire on my neck as he carries me to an alleyway and shoves me against the wall.

It feels different this time, like he’s about to give me what I’ve been so desperate for.

“Hayes, wait,” I beg. “Not like this.”

“Yes, like this.” Teeth find my neck as he grinds himself against me. “This is what I am.”

He’s a monster, but for the first time in my life, I think he’s my monster. The one I’ve always craved, always needed. It was never going to happen any other way, I was just too stubborn to see it.

“Fine, then don’t fucking hold back. ”

The fact that my consent makes this man — this man whom I’ve always assumed was untouchable — whimper against my skin sends butterflies fluttering around inside of me and arousal pooling in my core. He doesn’t care that it’s cold, that it’s raining, that anyone can stumble across us. None of it stops him from setting me down to shove my soaked shorts off. “I’m done holding back.”

He lifts me back up once his cock is out and shoves himself inside of me with a powerful thrust, and I can only hope that the scream I let out is lost to the sound of the storm. It’s driving, searing, tearing pain... but it’s also mine .

It’s reshaping me, molding me.

And proving me very, very wrong about not bleeding again.

“So fucking tight,” he grunts, sliding out only to slam himself deep again, and then he finds an agonizingly slow and deep pace. “Samara.”

What the hell is he doing to me? We’re fucking in an alley in the rain, it’s not supposed to be slow. It’s supposed to be violent and fast, full of passion and uncontainable lust .

Yet here he is, acting like we’re in bed at home and he has all the time in the world. Acting like he has to savor every second, every clench of my pussy, every scratch my nails leave on the back of his neck.

Like it’ll be something worth remembering when it’s over.

I’d hate him more for it if it didn’t feel so, so fucking good.

“Did you know I wouldn’t do it?” I ask, gasping as my head tips back against the brick. “Or did you come to stop me because you’re a selfish prick who wanted me all to yourself? That’s it, isn’t it? You couldn’t stand the thought of someone else being inside of me.”

My words make him even more growly and aggressive... exactly what I wanted. “I’ll fucking kill him. You’re mine!”

That’s the closest he’ll get to admitting he’s a selfish prick, and I’ll take it.

I bet Hayes wouldn’t run out if another girl came knocking.

As much as I want to say something else, every word gets stuck in my throat as the skin on my back tears against the wall and he fucks into me harder. It’s raining so hard it’s impossible to even keep my eyes open, so for a moment, I just let myself go .

This isn’t what I thought it would feel like, but in some ways... it’s better. I feel alive for the first time in years, maybe ever. The smell of his cologne, the crashing thunder, the feeling of him splitting me in half — it’s visceral. Tangible.

And it’s mine.

“You’ve owned every part of me now, Hayes. Every inch of me.”

The noise he releases before crashing his lips to mine is feral. “You own me too, Hurricane. I’m fucking done denying it.”

God, hope is dangerous. And that’s what this is — a spark of hope. That maybe not all is lost, my future isn’t forfeit. Maybe the thing I thought ruined me will be the thing that truly saves me.

I just have to play my cards right.

“Don’t come inside me,” I whisper sharply. “I’m still not on birth control.”

“Look me in the eyes and say that bullshit again,” he challenges, gripping my chin so I have no choice but to meet his gaze. “Because this pussy belongs to me.”

Holding back a grin, I tuck my bottom lip between my teeth. “But what if I get pregnant, Hayes?”

“Fuck,” he breaths, cock throbbing inside of me. “Fuck, stop talking. ”

Got him.

“You want it, don’t you?” I goad, digging the tips of my fingers into the back of his neck. “You want me all swollen and bred, baby, don’t you? No one could ever say I’m not yours again.”

I didn’t know it was possible, but somehow Hayes begins fucking me even harder. Our wet skin slaps together so loudly I worry someone might hear, but he doesn’t seem to care at all. All he seems to care about is filling my body up and claiming what’s his. “Gonna come. Goddamnit, Samara!”

Slamming deep inside me, Hayes comes with a guttural growl. Burying my face in his neck, I focus entirely on how it feels — him pulsing inside me, his heavy breaths, the warmth spreading through me. The rain washing away the sin I just committed. I feel complete, like I finally did something good.

Like I finally did something right.

“Everything hurts,” I whisper in his ear. “Is it supposed to hurt?”

“You’re asking someone who’s never had a pussy, but I imagine so. I think it hurts most girls the first couple times, but it’ll get easier. Good thing you like the pain. ”

“Yeah, good thing,” I agree, biting the hell out of his neck. “Take me home.”

It makes him hiss a little, but I don’t miss the way his cock jerks.

Guess I’m not the only one that likes it.

“Brat,” he grumbles with a grin, setting me down on wobbly legs to help me get back in my shorts, and then he carries me to his car.

I can feel his cum leaking out of me and the blood trickling down my back from the wall, making a mess of me. It’s cold and warm all at once, and the only thing I can think of is how I’m absolutely going to get pneumonia.

“Did you guys find The Sons?”

Frowning, Hayes shakes his head. “Boo went to the station to see if anyone reported anything, though. We’ll get them one day.”

One day. That day feels a little further away now, but maybe it’s time I use my curse to my advantage.

I’m not down and out just yet.