Spare Me

Chapter 28

A lex woke up to the sound of the door to the private waiting room opening. He sat up, expecting to see the doctor with an update on his mother. He was surprised to see his brother and Hannah, twin expressions of concern on their faces.

“Hey guys,” he said, running a hand across his face, rubbing away the last hints of sleep. “How was the trip back?” He hugged them each, giving his brother an extra-long, extra-tight squeeze.

“Fine, we’re fine. How’s Mum?” Ben’s hair showed clear evidence of having been ripped at the entire way back from Athens, a sure tell of his brother’s anxiety.

“She’s going to be okay,” Alex said and watched his brother’s body visibly relax as Ben sank into one of the chairs that lined the walls of the small room. He was certain it was more comfortable than the normal waiting room—which was obviously a crock, why would his DNA merit him a more comfortable hospital waiting room experience?—but it was one hell of a place to spend a day. He looked at his watch, realizing that it had been almost a full twenty-four hours since he left Maddy at Winfield. Possibly for good.

Everything that had happened in the past day felt like a blur. Graham’s sudden appearance in Maddy’s rooms. The anguished knowledge that he needed to leave Maddy immediately, but didn’t know if he’d ever see her again. Their fleeting goodbyes that seemed woefully inadequate, especially if they were for forever. The ride to the hospital, which felt unending. Sitting in the waiting room with his father for hours—mostly in distraught silence—while his mother was in surgery. His father had been at her bedside since the surgery had ended in the early morning hours, and at some point Alex had managed to fall asleep in the fiendishly uncomfortable chairs, exhaustion and worry mercifully blotting out the agony that he knew was coming as soon as he had a chance to process it. It was like the moments after you scrape your knee when you look down, see the blood, and know it’s going to hurt a lot, but the nerves haven’t quite caught up to your eyes yet.

“They had to do a triple bypass. So she’s going to be here for a while and then out of commission recovering at home after that, but she’s going to be fine.”

Hannah had sunk into the chair next to her new husband, her arms around him as he hid his face in his hands. “What a relief,” she said, her eyes just as tired and worried as his brother’s.

Ben looked up, his eyes watery with unshed tears and bloodshot from a sleepless travel day back from their remote honeymoon in the Aegean. “Where’s Dad?” he asked, clearing his throat.

“He’s with Mum. She’s in the ICU. We’re only allowed one person in there at a time.”

“How long has he been back there? How do we get updates?”

At that moment, the door opened, and a statuesque woman with box braids wearing green scrubs and a white coat walked in. “Ben, this is Dr. Price,” Alex said. “Dr. Price, this is my brother Benjamin and his wife Hannah.” It felt absurd making the introductions since there was no way in hell that Dr. Price didn’t know exactly who they were, but to not make them also felt somehow weird.

“Your Royal Highness,” the doctor began, but Ben interrupted her.

“It’s Ben,” he said, holding up a hand. “My mother’s life is in your hands. I’m just Ben.”

“Okay, Ben,” she said with a small nod. “So, as you probably know your mother was in surgery for almost seven hours,” she began. “It wasn’t as straightforward as we would have hoped, but in the end we were successful and she seems to be tolerating the surgery well. She’ll be in intensive care for several days and will need to stay in hospital for at least a week. After that she’ll be convalescing at home for at least eight weeks.”

“But she’ll be okay?” Ben asked, looking at her urgently.

“I do believe she’ll make a full recovery,” Dr. Price said. “The king has been with her since we got her stabilized after the procedure,” she went on. “I think it would be good if we could convince him to go get some rest, have one of you sit with her for a while. This recovery is going to be a marathon, not a sprint. He needs to pace himself.”

“Yes, of course,” Ben said. “I’ll go.”

“Ben,” Alex interjected. “You two have been traveling for hours. You’re exhausted. Why don’t you go back to your place and grab a nap and a shower and then come back? I’ll stay with her for now.”

“But you’ve been up all night too,” Hannah said, looking concerned.

“I was able to get a little rest,” he fibbed, glancing at the offensive hospital chairs out of the corner of his eyes. “Go say hi, convince Dad to leave with you, and I’ll take the next shift,” Alex said, taking the lead in his family for what felt like the first time ever.

He saw Ben preparing to argue, but Hannah put a hand on his arm and silenced him with a look. Ben sighed and said, “Yeah, okay, you’re right.”

“Ben, why don’t you come with me and we’ll go get your father?” Dr. Price motioned to the door.

Ben nodded, dropped a quick kiss on Hannah’s head, and followed the doctor out of the room.

Alex sighed and sank back into what had become “his” chair. Hannah dropped down next to him. “How are you?” Hannah asked. He could feel her gaze, even though he wasn’t looking at her.

“Fine? I guess?” Alex said, raking a hand through his hair. The truth was he was exhausted, his eyes were gritty, and his mouth was dry. He’d barely eaten anything since lunch the day before, but he also couldn’t imagine putting anything in his stomach.

“Uh-huh,” she said knowingly.

“How is it out there?” he asked. “I assume the press is pouncing on this?” His father’s press office had decided that they couldn’t keep the story private any longer once the queen had made it through the surgery.

“About what you’d expect,” she said.

“At least maybe now Maddy can leave the house again,” he said ruefully.

“How is Maddy?” she asked.

Alex was saved from trying to figure out how to answer that question by the return of Ben and their father. Hannah stood and went to embrace her father-in-law. When Hannah released him, he looked up at Alex. “You’ll call me if anything changes? ”

“I promise, Dad. I won’t leave her for a second.” Alex looked his father squarely in the eye. “Trust me.”

His father’s eyes closed, hiding his emotion from his sons, and nodded. “I do, Alex.”

“All of you go get some rest,” Alex said, ushering them towards the door. “I don’t want to see you before tomorrow morning.”

They said their muted goodbyes, and then Hannah and Ben led the king towards the back entrance and Alex turned the other direction where an orderly was waiting to lead him to his mother’s private room in the intensive care unit. He’d caught a brief glimpse of her when they’d brought her out from surgery, but taking a seat next to her bed was the first chance he’d really had to get a good look at her. She was still asleep, heavily sedated after the trauma her body had been through. Her face was starting to show the natural signs of aging, and there were dark circles under her eyes that he’d never seen before. When he reached down to take her hand gently, he was struck by the wrinkles that had started to form there, the way her rings were slightly loose. Even though he still spent the occasional weekend staying with his folks at Windsor and Sandringham, it had been years since the last time he saw her looking anything less than put together.

The realization that his parents were aging was a sucker punch. The doctors had reassured them repeatedly over the last day that, although her condition was serious, she was expected to make a full recovery. But it had been a shocking reminder of her mortality. That she and his father would probably start to slow down one of these days. That someday they would be gone and Ben would be king.

This fact was something he’d known for his whole life. Even though his parents had done their best to give them a “normal” upbringing, Alex had known for as long as he could remember that someday his brother would be king. That their family business was being the royal family. And his feelings on that had evolved significantly. As a younger child, in the aftermath of the humiliation at his father’s coronation, Alex had wanted nothing to do with the institution. He’d wished on every birthday cake, every found penny, every first evening star that he’d wake up the next day and that his family would be normal. That he’d never be expected to be in the public eye. That he’d never have to make a speech. And then, somewhere along the way, things had changed. He’d started to feel coddled. Cocooned. Too protected. He worked so hard on himself to be someone who could be a productive member of the family business, but nobody noticed.

And now, finally, here was his opportunity. As much as he hated the reason, this was finally the chance for him to prove himself both to his family and to the nation. He could do this, he could be a leader, he could do the job. And yet, the thrill that he would have expected to come with this realization didn’t thrill like he thought it would. He would do it, certainly. He would never let his family down. But the fact that this huge opportunity for him was simultaneously costing him the woman of his dreams poisoned it for him.

He spent the night by his mother’s bedside, intermittently resting his head on the side of her mattress and dozing off, but mostly lost in thought. His brain bounced back and forth, unfocused in the way that brains get when you know the rest of the world is asleep and you’re drifting between light sleep and the midnight melancholy of being awake and alone. He had vivid images of him opening hospitals, shaking hands, using his family’s name to bring attention to the people in his country who needed it the most, being able to at least in some small way shape the royal family’s plans and priorities. But then the scene would shift. He’d see himself cuddling Maddy, see them wandering through DC together, playing with Bertie, cooking together. It was disorienting to realize that the simplicity of the second set of visions was somehow more enticing to him than the grandeur of the dream he’d been working towards for years. To realize that he’d been fighting so long to get his family to notice him, to use him, to include him in their mission, and that now he wished he didn’t have to. Would rather continue to live out of the public eye and take a back seat, if it meant being with Maddy. Two days ago he might have been trying to figure out a way to convince Maddy that she wanted him to join her in the States. Finding a way to beg her to let him come too. But not now. Now his family needed him, and as much as it was going to break him to watch Maddy walk away, he was going to have to do it.