The Season of Falling

5. Chapter 5

Chapter five

Kasey

Ro’s words seemed to hang in the air, echoing in the sudden silence, and bouncing around in my head.

You and Dean are dating?

She’d said it less like a question and more like an exclamation. Like she didn’t need an answer to the question because she already knew it. And the answer was obvious.

Ro squealed as she bounded across the room to where we were still holding onto each other’s hands. As she made it to the bed I sucked in a breath and dropped his hand as though it had caught on fire.

From the phone gripped in Ro’s hand, I heard Hazel’s voice, “Were you guys trying to hide it? We’ve been waiting forever for this to happen.”

I was speechless. Did they think just because we were holding hands that we’d started dating? Hazel and Ro knew I’d been in love with Dean basically since we’d met, but I’d always insisted that he felt nothing but friendship for me and that it was never going to happen. After our shave ice conversation a few days ago, I’d even had that confirmed.

“What? We—” I started.

“I expected this a long time ago,” Max interrupted, and I could see him nodding from Jace’s phone screen.

“It really was only a matter of time,” Jace agreed.

Ro must have started to really register the confusion on my face, and likely Dean’s as well because she continued, “Kendra just told us. When did this happen? When were you going to tell us?”

My eyes flicked to Dean’s. He was definitely confused, but in the brief moment our gazes connected, I thought I saw something else as well. Maybe hope? Relief? But that couldn’t be right.

I turned my focus back on the trainwreck happening right in front of me. “Guys, wait. I don’t—”

Kendra cut me off before I could get any further in clearing up the confusion. “So sorry to cut this short guys, but Kasey and I actually have to go. Grandpa is done with his dialysis, and we need to get some food into him.”

I stared at my sister in confusion, my mouth slightly agape. “Well, actually—”

“I hope you’re good as new real soon, Dean,” Kendra called over me as she grabbed my arm and started tugging me toward the door. “And I’m sure Kasey will be back to see you even sooner than that.”

I was in too much shock over the events of the last five minutes to put up much of a fight as Kendra hauled me from the room. Before she pulled me out the door, I caught Ro’s eye. She looked as confused as I felt but with a touch of suspicion hiding in her green eyes. The look she sent me said that we’d be having a major conversation, and soon. I nodded and then allowed Kendra to close the door on whatever that mess had been.

As we walked down the hallway I rounded on my sister. “And what,” I hissed, “was that?”

“Let’s talk about it when we get home, okay? I don’t want you to make a scene here.”

“Make a scene? Make a scene? ” The volume of my words was proving her correct so I took a few calming breaths. “How about, if you don’t want me to make a scene, you don’t create a reason for me to make one? Kendra, seriously. What was that? Why did you tell everyone that Dean and I are dating?”

She shook her head. “I’m not talking about this until we get back to your house. Let’s take Grandpa to lunch, give you a chance to calm down, and then we can talk.”

She must have been able to see the steam coming out of my ears because she put her hands up in a placating gesture. “I promise I have a good reason and I’ll tell you everything. But Grandpa first.”

I was not happy about it, but we really did need to get back to Grandpa. We were his ride after all, and we couldn’t just stand around for however long it took me to knock some sense into Kendra’s brain.

After a quick lunch at Grandpa’s favorite, Archie’s Grill, we dropped him off with promises to come back to see him soon. Once he was gone, the car descended into a less than comfortable silence. It took all that I had to not launch an immediate attack on Kendra to pry out of her why on earth she had told everyone that Dean and I were dating.

I paused in my fuming to roll that idea around in my head. Of course, I’d thought about it many times over the years, but this whole thing had brought it up again. Dean and I, dating. I liked how it sounded. I liked how we had been holding hands and how he had looked at me with such, I don’t know, tenderness. I had no idea what Kendra was up to, and I was gearing up to be really angry at her, but for a moment, I let myself imagine what it would be like if that were true.

If Dean and I were dating.

He would be so sweet. Like achingly sweet. I’d seen how he interacted with his sister and her kids and even a few of his past girlfriends. He was a softie through and through. He would hold my hand as we walked, rest his hand on my thigh while we drove, and let me tangle my legs with his while we sprawled on the couch watching our favorite shows. He’d be the kind of boyfriend who pulled me away from making dinner to wrap his arms around me and dance with me across the kitchen. He’d buy my favorite snacks just because and surprise me with them. He’d send me even more videos on Instagram that had made him think of me. And he’d kiss me. A lot.

The picture I painted for myself wrapped around my heart like a warm cozy blanket. And my inner hopeless romantic sighed contentedly. But all good things must come to an end as the saying goes, and the fluffy blanket turned into an angry boa constrictor, squeezing my heart painfully and bringing me back to reality. The reality where I was mad at my sister for making a mess that I was going to have to clean up. And even worse because my friends were not going to let me live it down.

Kendra threw the car into park and bolted from the car as fast as she could. If I hadn’t been upset at her, I would have laughed at how ridiculous she looked trying to get away from me. She raced up the stairs, frantically punched in the code, and snapped the door closed behind her. I heaved a sigh and followed behind her at a much calmer pace.

“We need to talk, Kendra,” I called as I made my way up the stairs and into the guest bedroom which was pretty much Kendra’s room away from home. I didn’t ever have any other guests anyway. “Are we doing this the easy way or the hard way?” I leaned against the doorframe and looked in on her laying like a starfish on top of her light pink bedspread.

“What’s the easy way?” she asked, trying to look innocent.

“You tell me everything right now.”

“And the hard way?”

“I sit on you until you tell me everything right now.”

She laughed. “That hasn’t worked since we were kids.”

“Well, I’m heavier now so it might actually work even faster.” I tapped my chin as if deep in thought. But stopped when she sighed and rolled onto her side to face me.

“Alright, I’ll tell you.” She patted the bed next to her, and I kicked off my shoes before joining her. “You remember the day of the accident? How you came in here to tell me what had happened and I was watching While You Were Sleeping ?” I nodded for her to continue. “Well, I couldn’t help but notice the similarities between Sandra Bullock’s situation in that movie and yours.”

My eyes narrowed. “Kendra…”

“And so,” she hurried to go on, “I thought that if it worked for her, it could work for you!”

“What? That’s a movie. And she ends up with a different guy!”

Kendra made a sound in the back of her throat and shrugged. “That’s a minor detail. Listen, if we tell Dean that you're dating, he won’t know any differently.” When I started to protest, she hurried to go on. “Kasey this is your chance! You’ve been in love with him forever.” She drew the last word out, as though trying to measure the length of time I’d been in love.

I rolled my eyes, “That’s not how real life works. He’s going to get his memory back, and then what? Not to mention it’s lying.”

“But if you can help him realize that he really is in love with you, then he’ll want to date you for real anyway and it won’t be lying. I really think this is your chance and you should take it. You’re just gonna wonder ‘what if’ for the rest of ever if you don’t at least try. Don’t you want him to be in love with you?”

“Of course I do.” I sighed. Apparently sighing was the order of the day. “But I can’t manipulate him like that. And it wouldn’t be real.”

“But that’s where you’re wrong,” she insisted. “He already loves you, of course, we’re just going to help him realize that he’s also in love with you. It will all be real. You and Dean, dating for real.”

As much as I knew that I should put a stop to it, I couldn’t help the thoughts that raced through my mind. The thoughts whispering that Kendra might be right. I knew that Dean cared about me, loved me even. How far of a stretch was that to in love ? Couldn’t be that far. I basically cleared the hurdle from “I care” to “I’m in love” in one jump. So it couldn’t be that hard to convince him.

I shook off the thoughts and turned my attention back to Kendra. “I’m sorry to say, but I think this one might be your worst idea ever.”

“Just think about it, okay?”

And I did. I couldn’t stop thinking about it all night. I tossed and turned, unable to get comfortable as thoughts of Dean, Kendra’s plan, and my apparent impending regret played through my mind over and over. The last thought I remembered before I drifted off was that I needed to consult Ro and Hazel about all of this.