The Sky We Seek (Love and Other Dreams #2)

Chapter 28

Noah

Three sleepless nights lie behind me. It's the same nightmare that haunts me over and over again. I've tried everything, but there's no escape. Nor is there any escape from the heavy fatigue dominating my body. Yesterday, today, and probably tomorrow.

Next week.

Forever.

I muster all my strength to keep my eyes open. If there were more to do at the office today, it might help. But so far, I've only had one assignment, guiding a tourist through rugged terrain over the phone. The paperwork is done, the old cases closed and properly archived. I groan as I slump into the backrest of my desk chair and interlace my hands behind my neck. My gaze falls upon the empty coffee cup. It was my sixth one today, yet I consider refilling it once more.

That would require me to get up, drag myself to the break room up front, and make the long trek back. But all my body manages is an extended yawn. I'm cold, so I cross my arms over my chest.

My eyelids are heavy. Incredibly heavy.

Only a small slit remains for me to see my surroundings. It grows narrower and darker.

I shouldn't...

My God, it feels so good .

All my muscles give in, and I can't stop them. A heaviness engulfs me and pulls me into darkness.

Surrounded by warmth and tranquility, I let myself go.

Suddenly, the earth shakes. My upper arm is the epicenter.

"Noah," someone calls.

A woman. Elina?

The shaking intensifies, and even my head wobbles. "Wake up."

Not Elina. Anita.

"I'm awake." With presence of mind, I open my eyes and see her concerned face hovering directly above me.

"What's wrong with you?" she wants to know.

I shrug, as best I can. "Everything's fine."

"You can tell that to someone else." The way she places her hands on her hips, I sense trouble. "You fell asleep. On duty."

I have nothing to counter that. Because the truth is, I don't even know how long I dozed off. It's unimaginable if during that time an emergency call had come in and gone unanswered. Guiltily, I lower my gaze to the gray laminate floor. "Are you going to report it?"

Her hand rests warmly on my shoulder. "Isn't that my duty?" she replies, and I can hear how sorry she is.

Peter will kick me out. Guaranteed. Since Julian's death, he has been nothing but understanding. Among the few, he didn't blame me. He gave me time and came to my aid as often as he could.

And what do I do? As thanks, I doze off at work.

What the hell is wrong with me that I bring harm to everyone, especially those who stand up for me ?

"Do you sleep poorly?" Anita pulls the chair from the nearest desk and sits down with a serious expression. "You look like you haven't slept a wink for months."

Not months, although it feels that way. Ever since I found out that Elina wants to leave Tyrol, these terrible nightmares have haunted me.

"I'm tired," I admit because denying it wouldn't make any sense anyway. Besides, I'm too weak to come up with an excuse.

"You need to see a doctor. There might be something wrong," Anita says, placing her hand gently on my forearm and looking at me intently.

I wave her off. "The treatment is already underway."

"Then take time off until you're feeling better," she suggests. "Peter will surely understand."

No. I can't cause him more trouble than I already have. "Let me handle it on my own. I just need a little time, and I have that. My name is not on the duty roster for the next two days, and I've already requested time off for next week." To go to Munich with Elina. Just the thought of it makes my stomach ache. Because I know she'll be radiant with happiness there, and I won't have the heart to bring up the job application and dampen the mood.

Anita tilts her head. "Are you sure?"

Now it's me reaching for her forearms. "Absolutely. I'll get some rest. The test results should be in soon, and with the right medication, everything will fall into place." I try to sound confident although I'm not. Because even if I get rid of the nightmares, this heavy exhaustion has plagued me even when I could still sleep .

My coworker gazes at me uncertainly.

"Please. Don't tell Peter," I implore her earnestly. "If I can't handle it myself, I'll talk to him. I promise."

Biting her lower lip, she crosses her arms over her chest. "If you act negligent and I knew about it, then—"

"I won't." I interrupt her although I can never guarantee that. Right after work, I'll get a sleep aid. I also need to work on a solution for how Elina and I can still have a future. "You can trust me. It will never happen again."

She doesn't react for too long. "I'll keep an eye on you," she finally says with a stern voice, pointing her index finger at me.

"Thank you." That's all I can manage to say because suddenly my throat tightens. I don't deserve her help, and certainly not her friendship. Yet she's there for me. At least she pretends to be. But can I really trust her? It's better not to.

She jumps up from her chair. "And now I'll get you a coffee," she announces enthusiastically and dashes off toward the break room.

I watch her go, filled with anger toward myself. But no matter how much I hate everything that has happened in my life, one thing is clear: It's time to work even harder on myself. Because if Elina were to leave and I were to lose my job on top of that, I would be truly lost.