The Sky We Seek (Love and Other Dreams #2)

Chapter 29

Elina

I haven't seen Noah for two long days, but we plan to spend the evening together today. Full of anticipation, I take off my doctor's coat and leave the examination room.

"See you tomorrow, Clara," I sing as I pass by the reception desk.

As soon as she spots me, she raises her index finger. "Wait, I'm coming with you." She quickly reaches for her jacket and leans over the desk, probably to shut down the computer. "We can walk part of the way together," she adds, grinning before rounding the desk. "And talk..."

"About the great weather, you mean?" I raise an eyebrow. "Or about the hiking trail I tried last weekend." With Noah. It was beautiful.

Wait, did I just think that? That a hike is beautiful? In the mountains? In the middle of nowhere?

Heavens, what does this man do to me? And how does he do it?

"Yeah, about the weather. Exactly." Clara's dry tone perfectly matches her suggestive expression. She hooks her arm through mine and pulls me toward the exit.

Outside, the warm June air hits us. It carries an intense scent of flowers and meadows. I take a deep breath .

Wonderfully liberating!

"Well, spill the beans," Clara suddenly says. "And don't think for a second that you can escape this time." She looks at me as if she were the devil's little sister.

My gut feeling tells me that I can't wriggle out of this. At least not completely. "There's not much to tell," I say evasively. Together, we leave the parking lot in front of Helene's practice and turn onto the street toward the town center.

"I can't imagine that for the life of me," Clara comments cheerfully. "I mean, you snagged Noah. Noah, the unattainable one! How did you manage that?"

"I didn't snag anyone." I shake my head and look at her. "He was my patient. Then we spent time together, and one thing led to another." And what has come out of it, I can hardly put into words, so I better not even try.

"Very enlightening." She rolls her eyes toward the radiant blue sky.

Suddenly, it dawns on me that I'm behaving just like my friend Maya did when she and Josh got closer. She didn't want to reveal anything and dismissed her feelings as if they weren't special. The fact that I'm doing the same with Noah puzzles me.

That's not like me at all.

I've never had a problem telling the whole world about my happiness. But Vienna is not Semmtal. Everything I confide in Clara could ultimately be discussed at the pub table, and I definitely don't want that.

"What kind of sensation did you expect?" I ask Clara with a smile .

She thoughtfully twirls the loose end of her braided side ponytail. "Well, it's Noah."

What is she trying to say? I look at her skeptically. Something is not right here. "What about him?"

Now she's the one staring at me with a questioning look. "You don't know?"

Something in her tone makes me pause. "What are you talking about?"

She avoids my gaze, lowers her eyes, and pretends to kick a pebble on the road with her shoe. "About nothing, really."

Oh no, it can't be like that. "Come on, Clara, spit it out."

She looks up at me, then shakes her head. "Ask him yourself. He needs to tell you. I shouldn't..."

"What's wrong with him?" The words leave my mouth reluctantly. Because deep inside me, memories lurk. Countless memories, all revolving around men who have deeply disappointed me.

Men I trusted blindly and bitterly regretted.

My chest tightens in an instant. Because I realize that Clara is not the first person urgently advising me to talk to Noah myself, looking as if she has severe stomachaches. His colleague also said something similar at Hanna's birthday party.

Stay away from him. He is dangerous , I hear Helene hissing in my inner voice as well.

"What happened to Julian?" Clara's gaze pleads with me not to dig any further. She doesn't want to get caught in the crossfire, but she's already in the middle of it.

In a dizzy spell, I grab her upper arms. "His son?"

She shakes her head. What the hell is going on here? Usually, the villagers are so talkative that they could easily work as gossip reporters. But when it comes to Noah, they all remain silent.

It's as if they're hiding something. As if they're sweeping a terrible truth about him under the rug so they don't have to face it any longer.

"Who is Julian?" I ask insistently while panic continues to well up inside me.

He lied to me, didn't he? He didn't mention that Julian was his son? Or did I just piece that together myself?

My memory is blurry. Too strong to answer these questions. But that's not what really matters right now. "Please, tell me," I plead.

Clara tries to wriggle out of my grip, avoiding my gaze. But I don't let go. "Julian was his best friend," she finally admits meekly.

If she thinks I'll be satisfied with this information, she's mistaken. "What happened to him?"

Her expression begs me to let it go. "Please, Elina. Ask him yourself."

"So it's something terrible," I say, swallowing hard, feeling all my muscles suddenly tense up.

Clara doesn't reply. She just lowers her gaze and nods.

I release my hold on her. "What did he do?" I whisper, my voice trembling.

She shifts her weight from one foot to the other, her lips pressed together. She could walk away, but she doesn't. Clearly, she's struggling within herself.

She wants to tell me.

Seconds, as thick as honey, pass by. No one says a word. The rushing of my own blood is all I hear. Driven by my heart, pounding so fiercely in my chest that it causes me pain.

"He killed him."

Her words hit me like bombs.

Killed? Noah is supposed to have killed someone? And his best friend, no less? "I don't believe it," I say because it simply can't be true.

A watery gleam forms in Clara's eyes. "They were hiking together in the Semmtal Gorge. They were caught in a thunderstorm. Julian fell," she stammers. "Noah didn't help him."

No. He would never do something like that. Beneath his tough exterior, Noah is the most helpful person I've ever met.

Or is he not? Am I just imagining it, like I've imagined my whole life that I know the men I get involved with, only for them to turn out to be liars and cheaters in the end?

My God, please, no.

"As his colleagues from the mountain rescue arrived, he just squatted next to Julian, holding his shoulder," Clara continues, as if the floodgates are now breaking open within her. "He was paralyzed. And that, even though he is a trained paramedic. Noah would have known exactly what to do."

"A paramedic?" I thought he was an office worker who takes emergency calls at the headquarters. Confused, I rummage through my memory, but again, I can't say for certain what he told me and what I imagined myself.

Clara nods vigorously. "He let him die. Only Noah knows what happened. But he constantly claims he can't remember. "

Such things happen. Quite often, actually. The shock of witnessing a loved one die can trigger such a gap in memory.

No. I shouldn't defend him outright. Just as easily, he could be a liar.

Unable to gather my thoughts, I gaze at Clara.

"Since the accident, he has lived in seclusion. For weeks, he was the talk of the village. When he didn't say anything, people came up with their own explanations. The still accusatory glances and the tense silence of the villagers became too much for him. He trusts no one and doesn't want anyone to get close to him." She shrugs as if she wants to apologize for everything she has just revealed to me. "But he let you into his life."

So that's why Clara was so curious about Noah. "Do you believe what people say?" I ask her insistently.

Please say no!

Her saddened gaze meets mine. She pities me. Yes, that's how it is.

Suddenly, I don't want to hear her answer anymore. "I have to go now," I stammer awkwardly, turn around on the spot, and run away.

Away. Just away. From Clara and what she just told me.

I don't want to believe it. Yet I suddenly hear the voice of my best friend in my head.

Not every love story has a happy ending, don't forget that , she warns me urgently. What if she's right? What if I have once again blindly gotten involved with a man who will ultimately disappoint me?