Theoretically Perfect (Theoretically Straight #2)

16. Theo

So carpetball is…interesting. To be fair to the sport—if we can even call it that—I’m sure that not all games consist of the same level of tension and interrogation that ours did today, but it’s still not one that I’m eager to play again any time soon.

Fortunately, after that final round, the animosity lingering between Caleb and Jake is finally starting to dissipate. Maybe Caleb was on to something about the air in the loft being full of repressed trauma or something.

The three of us spend the next hour or so meandering around the outer perimeter of the church grounds until Jake receives a call from his mom summoning us back to the sanctuary. Clean-up doesn’t take as long as the set-up did—or at least, it doesn’t feel like it. It could be because Caleb, Jake, and I are able to continue chit-chatting and goofing around while we work this time, and before we know it, the afternoon is over, and we’re free to go.

“Thank you again, boys, for your hard work today,” Mom says to us as we loiter just outside the kitchen. “Especially you, Caleb. It really means a lot.”

Caleb smiles. “No problem.”

Mom glances between the two of us and then focuses on me. “Your father is in Athens today with Chase and a few other elders, helping out with the college ministry there. He probably won’t be home until late this evening, around eight or nine.”

I furrow my brow. It feels like a random piece of news, but Mom must feel like it’s important to tell me. “Okay.”

Mom then turns to Caleb. “Caleb, you’re welcome to come to the house for the rest of the afternoon if you’d like. The usual rules apply—no closed doors, no excessive PDA—but otherwise, I’d love to have you over for dinner. I’ll be ordering takeout because I’ve done enough work in the kitchen for one day.”

Caleb and I share an excited grin, and Caleb nods. “Sure, thank you, Ms. Kora. I’ll text my sister and let her know.”

I beam at Mom. “Thanks, Mom!”

“You’re welcome, aroha ,” she says softly. “Just don’t make me regret it, okay?”

“I won’t. We’ll be on our best behavior, I promise.”

“Good. Let me say my goodbyes, and then we can head home.”

As Mom disappears back into the kitchen and Caleb texts Lola, I peek into the sanctuary to find Jake and give him a wave.

“Heading home?” Jake calls out, already making his way over to Caleb and me.

“Just about. You?”

“Nah, I’ve got to help Dad out with a few things before I’m released,” Jake replies, rolling his eyes. “But soon, I hope.”

“Man,” I lament, shaking my head. “Well, see you tomorrow?”

“Yep, see you tomorrow.” He steps in to wrap me in a hug, which I reciprocate. “Always good to see you, Theo.”

“You, too, Jake.”

As we pull apart, Jake extends a hand out to Caleb. “I’m really glad you joined us today, Caleb.”

Caleb steps forward to shake his hand, only for Jake to pull him in for a brief hug. Caleb accepts it, albeit with a nervous smile. “I’m glad, too. It was a lot more fun than I thought it would be.”

“Agreed. I especially enjoyed kicking both your asses at carpetball,” Jake adds with a wink.

“Enjoy it while it lasts,” I say with a smirk. “I just need a little more practice, then we’ll see whose ass gets kicked.”

Jake laughs. “Oh, yeah, we’ll definitely see.”

“Whose car is that?” Caleb asks as we pull into the driveway.

I follow his gaze to Grace’s gold Toyota Prius, and I grin widely. “That’s Grace. She must have just gotten home from work.”

“She might be napping,” Mom adds. “Last I heard, she was up late studying and then had to open this morning. She was out of the house before you were even awake, Theo.”

“Yikes,” I mutter. “Poor thing.”

Mom parks the family car in the garage, and we make our way inside. I glance at my phone to see that it’s just after four.

“What time is dinner?” I ask Mom.

Mom sighs as she collapses on the couch. “Maybe 6:30 or 7? Honestly, whenever you guys are hungry.”

I look to Caleb, who shrugs. “We’re fine with whatever,” I reply.

“Well, look who it is,” a female voice calls out from the stairs. “Is the prisoner allowed visiting hours now?”

“Watch it, Grace,” Mom warns, but with no real threat behind it.

“Hi, Grace.” Caleb politely waves as she descends the stairs.

“Hiya, Caleb!” Her hair is damp, and she’s wearing an old t-shirt and sweats, which tells me she must have just showered after a long shift. The scent of her lavender shampoo travels down with her. “What are you guys up to?”

“They helped with setting up for the women’s luncheon today,” Mom answers, propping her feet on the coffee table. “Caleb was nice enough to volunteer his services, so I’m treating them to some pizza for dinner. Should I order an extra cheese, or do you have plans for the evening?”

“I’ll be around,” Grace replies, walking over to rustle my hair. “I’ve got more studying to do, but I also haven’t seen this guy in forever, so we need to catch up. Oh! Caleb, are you any good with a dye bottle? I need to recolor my roots, and I don’t always do a good job on the back.”

Caleb grins, nodding. “Yeah, I’ve done it a couple of times before for my sister. I’d be happy to help.”

Grace gives Caleb’s shoulder a squeeze. “Bless you. You guys can come chill in my room if you want. I’ll get all the dye stuff set up in a minute.”

“Okay,” I say, grabbing Caleb’s hand and leading him to the stairs. “We’ll be upstairs, Mom.”

“Door open,” she calls after us, and Caleb chuckles under his breath.

Grace follows us up to her room, opening the door for us and sliding her desk chair out of the way. Her Bluetooth speaker is playing some lo-fi track that Caleb must recognize because he starts humming along to it quietly in the most adorable way.

“Excuse the mess,” Grace says, even though her room is nearly spotless. She pushes a stack of notebooks out of her way as she unpacks a plastic shopping bag onto her desk, three different boxes of hair color, and an assortment of bottles. “I had to leave at the ass crack of dawn to get to work—well, actually, I left before the sun was even up. How fucked is that?”

“Opening at Cathy’s is the worst,” I explain to Caleb. “Especially on the weekends. You have set everything up and then work the busiest breakfast shift, followed by a crazy lunch. It’s insane.”

“The tips are usually pretty good,” Grace adds, crumpling the bag and tossing it into the small trash can under her desk. “As long as I don’t get stuck in section D. Those tables suck, and all the old people sit there for three hours sipping on coffee and tip you, like, a quarter.”

“Sounds like hard work,” Caleb says, his attention drifting to the wall of artwork that Grace has collected. He hovers at one of the dreamcatchers, taking in the intricate design.

“It’s grueling sometimes,” Grace agrees, tearing into one of the boxes and dumping out the contents onto the desk. “But it pays the bills, so I can’t complain that much. That’s enough about work. How was the day of punishment, bud?”

“Surprisingly good,” I answer, pulling Caleb over to the edge of Grace’s bed. “We got to hang out in the loft after we set up, and Jake taught us how to play this old game called carpetball.”

“Is that a euphemism?” Grace asks, raising an eyebrow.

“That’s what I said!”

“It’s hella sus.” Grace snorts a laugh, turning her attention to Caleb. “How was it for you? Nobody tried to indoctrinate you, did they?”

Caleb shakes his head, lowering himself onto the bed next to me. “Not at all. Everyone was very nice. Alarmingly so. I did catch an old lady staring at my nails, but she kept her mouth shut. Or at least she didn’t say anything to me directly.”

“Nah, that’s not their game,” Grace says, squeezing a bottle of blue dye into a small black bowl. “The old church ladies are always sweet to your face, and then they go back to their little Sunday school class and talk shit when the door is closed.”

“They’re not all like that,” I argue, shooting Grace a look. “Some of them are really nice.”

“And some of them are evil old bats without an empathetic bone in their body,” Grace adds, moving on to the next color of dye. “You should have seen the looks when I dyed my hair after graduation. You would have thought I rode in topless on a motorcycle.”

I grimace, shaking my head. “Thanks for the mental image, Grace.”

“You’re welcome, bud. Anyways, I’m glad you survived, Caleb. You’re very brave to put yourself through the judgment of strangers just to hang out with Theo.”

“I don’t know about all that,” Caleb says, then he turns to me and adds. “It really wasn’t that bad. I’m glad I got to come!”

“Me too,” I tell him, a bit of guilt still worming its way into my stomach. Was I being selfish, exposing Caleb to judgmental people just to spend time with him? Sure, it’s not like I made him say yes, but he’s too nice to have turned me down. Did he think he didn’t have another choice?

“I think we’re about ready,” Grace announces, setting down the third bowl and pulling the chair back over to the desk. “If you’ll just match the colors, Caleb.”

“Sure thing,” he says, releasing his hold on my hand and moving over to the desk. He pulls on the disposable gloves from one of the boxes and picks up the pink dye first. He hesitates for a moment, then looks at Grace. “Do you think you’ll have leftovers of the pink?”

Grace raises an eyebrow. “Yeah, probably. What are you thinking?”

“Can I use some? I’ve always wanted to put a streak in my hair.”

“I don’t see why not. We might have to lighten the streak first to make sure it takes, but that won’t take long.”

Caleb’s face lights up. “Awesome! Thanks, Grace.”

“What about you, bud? You want to get in on the hair coloring scheme?”

All I can think about is Dad walking in and seeing me with pink hair and spontaneously combusting on the spot.

“I think I’ll pass this time,” I say, my voice uneven.

Caleb shoots me a concerned look, but I smile through the anxiety in my gut, hoping it’s convincing enough.

Caleb sets to work, painting the bleached roots of Grace’s hair. She’s got three different colors running through her normally dark locks. Pink, purple, and a deep blue. I make myself comfortable on Grace’s bed, watching Caleb work. Grace starts him down the path of shows that he watches, and Caleb chatters excitedly about the new reality show that he and Lola have started binging. By the time he’s swapped over to purple, my heavy eyelids droop, the early morning wake up call catching up with me, and before I can do anything about it, I nod off.

I don’t know how long I doze, slipping in and out of slumber as Caleb’s voice lulls me back and forth from the edge of sleep. My name rouses me back to consciousness.

“Theo has always been like that,” Grace says, her voice low enough that I have to strain to hear her. “He tries so hard to make everyone else happy, and I just worry that he’s making himself miserable in the process.”

That’s not fair. I don’t try to make everyone happy. Just my parents. And Caleb. And my friends. And my teachers. And—shit, okay, maybe she has a point.

“I just hope I’m not making things harder on him. I kinda got into it with your dad the other day, and I know he came down hard on him for it.”

No, Caleb. Don’t say that. It was my own stupid fault for lying to them. You did nothing wrong.

“Trust me, Caleb. Dad was going to lose his shit whether you were there or not. He’s gone full nuclear lately. I think he’s scared that Theo is going to end up like me if things continue in the same way.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“Like, Theo is going to leave the church. Renounce his faith. It’s our father’s biggest fear. So, we keep on filtering ourselves around him. Hell, I haven’t even told him that I’m agnostic because I know it could give the guy an aneurysm.”

“But that’s not fair to you,” Caleb says, his voice a little louder. “Either of you. You shouldn’t have to hide who you really are. Especially to your family.”

Grace huffs a quiet laugh. “Yeah, kid, you’re right. But we do if we want to keep the peace. I don’t know. Maybe one day that will change. Maybe once I’m out on my own, it won’t seem like such a big deal. But until then, I don’t want to be the one who blows up the family.”

Does she really think telling Dad her truth would blow up the family? I can’t imagine it would be a pleasant conversation, but would he really do anything rash? Would he stop paying for her tuition? Would he kick her out of the house?

I want to say no. But….

“I’m glad that he has you, Caleb. I know that this can’t be easy, walking him through this season of self-discovery, but he’s a good kid. And he really loves you.”

“I love him too,” Caleb says. “He’s one of the kindest people I’ve ever met. I just hope that he stays that way if the worst should happen.”

The worst? I don’t like the sound of that.

“I think you’re ready to rinse,” Grace says, followed by the sound of her rolling chair moving across the floor. “Come on, we’ll wash it off in the bathroom sink.”

The room goes quiet for a bit, and I’m about to drift off again when they return.

“It should lighten up more once it dries. It’s going to be so cute!”

“Thanks again,” Caleb says, his voice closer than before. “Wren and Freddy are going to freak out when they see it.”

“You’re so welcome. It’s the least I can do to pay you back for being so good to my little bro. Look at him, just snoozing the day away. I should jump on him.”

“No!” Caleb exclaims, quickly lowering his voice again. “I mean, let him sleep. We’ll wake him when the pizza gets here.”

“Aw, you’re no fun. Fine, I’ll let him keep spooning my pillows for a little longer. But I do need to get back to studying at some point.”

“I’ll be quiet,” Caleb says, and I feel him sink onto the edge of the bed, keeping a polite distance from me.

I want nothing more than to roll over and wrap my arms around him. He places a hand on my ankle, his fingers dragging lightly across the exposed skin before settling on top. I should probably rouse myself, but now that Caleb is touching me again, the comforting embrace of sleep takes me once more.

Caleb runs through my disjointed dreams, chased by a giant white billiard ball like he’s in that old Indiana Jones movie. Then we’re both running from it, Caleb’s hand in mine as we narrowly escape with our lives. And in true dream fashion, we somehow end up tumbling into the bed at the Kendling Hotel, tangling in the sheets as skin touches skin, and Caleb’s lips find mine…

“Theo? Hey, Theo. The pizza’s here.”

My eyes shoot open, and I blink away the blur of sleep to find Caleb leaning over the edge of Grace’s bed.

“Good morning, sleepyhead.”

I quickly take stock of my situation, the residual memory of my dream causing a rising panic, but thankfully, I’ve clutched one of Grace’s pillows against me, and it’s hiding any of the evidence of my lingering excitement.

“Sorry,” I mumble, my voice gruff. “I didn’t mean to sleep so long.”

“Don’t be,” Caleb replies, brushing a curl of hair out of my eyes. “I like watching you sleep.” He pauses, face contorting with a cringe. “That sounded a lot less creepy in my head. Forget I said that.”

“Nope, I’m definitely going to remember it now.”

He gives me a playful shove, looking over his shoulder before he leans down further and gives me a peck on the lips. “Come on, your mom is going to send a search party if we don’t make it downstairs.”

“Okay, okay, I’m coming.” I rouse myself from the bed, swinging my legs over the edge and stretching both arms over my head.

Caleb waits by the door, a goofy grin plastered over his lips.

“What?” I ask, suddenly worried that I’m still pitching a tent.

“Your hair is amazing.”

“Shut up. Your hair is–” I stop, taking in the streak of bubblegum pink that swoops off his forehead. “Oh my god, your hair is so cute!”

Caleb’s cheeks flush as he leans against the door frame, and I’ve never wanted to kiss him so badly.

“Pizza, Theo. P-I-Z-Z-A. Come on!”

I launch myself off the bed, wrapping Caleb up in a hug and hoisting him off the ground.

“Put me down!” he shouts through his laughter. “Theo! God, don’t drop me!”

“I’m getting some mixed signals here,” I say, holding tight and moving him into the hallway.

“Down!” Caleb shouts again, and I drop him at the top of the stairs, leaning in to steal a quick kiss. A groan vibrates his lips as I do, and it only makes me want him more.

“Your mom is going to see,” Caleb whispers, pulling away.

“Ugh, fine. You’re right.” I reach up, running my fingers through the slightly damp patch of pink hair. “You’re just too cute now. I can’t help myself.”

Caleb rolls his eyes, but his face gets a shade redder. “I’m hungry. I’m going down now.”

And I follow the boy I love down the stairs.

After we’ve eaten our fill, Grace heads back upstairs to continue her studies while Caleb and I stretch out on the couch, watching TikToks on his phone. At some point, Mom looks up from her laptop across the living room, and for a split second, I think she’s going to tell me that we’re sitting too close or something, but then she says, “It’s getting late, aroha . Your father will be coming home soon.”

“I can call Lola,” Caleb says, swiping the video off his phone.

“How about Theo give you a ride?” Mom suggests, looking over at me.

“Really?” I ask, a bit dumbfounded.

“Straight there and straight back,” Mom clarifies. “And if your father asks, it never happened. Capiche?”

“Capiche,” I agree quickly.

“I’ll grab your keys.” Mom sets her laptop on the coffee table, then disappears down the hall into her bedroom.

“Wow,” Caleb whispers with a grin. “Maybe I should volunteer at your church more often.”

“I don’t know who that woman is, but she’s not my mother.”

We both laugh, and Caleb sits up, stretching.

“So, maybe we’ll get to have a couple of minutes of alone time tonight?” he asks, suddenly averting his gaze.

“I mean, she did say straight there and back,” I say, joining him on the edge of the couch. “But that doesn’t mean we can’t sit in your driveway.”

Caleb nods, still looking down at his feet.

Mom returns, tossing me Eileen’s fob. “Thank you again for all your help, Caleb.”

“Glad to do it,” Caleb replies, standing.

“Thank you, Mom,” I say, waving the keys.

She nods, her smile tight. “Of course, aroha. Be safe.”

“We will,” I say, already ushering Caleb towards the hallway. “Caleb’s leaving, Grace!” I call up the stairs.

“Bye, Caleb! Thanks for your help! Sorry you have to date my lame brother!”

“Very funny!” I shout from the door, and Caleb giggles all the way out to Eileen. Now that the sun is down, the late January chill is in full force, and I hurry to crank the engine so we can get the heat running. Once I’ve selected a playlist–God, I’ve missed this–I shift into reverse.

“Brr.” Caleb shivers in the passenger seat. When we’re out of the driveway, I reach for his hand, wrapping it in mine. He pulls it closer to him, resting our hands on his thigh.

It gets a little more difficult to focus on the road.

We don’t really talk on the way to Caleb’s house, my playlist filling in the silence, but there’s an electricity that builds the closer we get to his neighborhood, like the pressure change of a thunderstorm looming overhead.

“Pull over here for a second,” Caleb says, a street away from his house. I do as he asks, parking Eileen in front of the empty lot and switching the headlights off.

“Everything okay?” I ask, a nervous curiosity causing my voice to crack.

Caleb’s eyes catch the light from my dashboard. “Yeah, I know you’re supposed to get right back, but maybe we can spend a few minutes together?”

My mouth is suddenly very dry. “Uh, sure. I mean, I’d like that.”

He unfastens his seat belt, and then, without further explanation, he climbs into the darkness of the back seat.

My heart hammers in my ears. I reach over and adjust the volume of the stereo, then take a steadying breath before I join Caleb.

His lips are on mine as soon as I crash into the seat, his fingers digging into the front of my shirt. A surprised gasp escapes my lips as he drifts down my neck, planting kisses along my collarbone. Heat surges under my skin, dulling my other senses as it burns.

“Is this okay?” he asks, his hands at the buttons of my shirt, waiting to undo them.

I nod, a trill of electricity shooting down my spine as his fingertips graze my skin while he works. My shirt comes off, disappearing into the floorboard. Caleb’s hands trail down my exposed chest, and I shudder at the sensation.

“You’re so hot,” he whispers before our lips collide again. And there’s a new urgency in his movement, a feverish intensity as his hands wrap around the nape of my neck, and he pulls me closer than we’ve ever been.

I tug at the bottom of his hoodie, and he breaks away long enough to pull it off. Caleb swings a leg over me, straddling my hips. The warmth of his skin against mine is enough to drive me crazy, and the friction as he leans closer, pulling me in for another kiss, robs me of any hesitations.

When Caleb pulls away again, we’re both panting, the electricity in the air reaching maximum saturation. “Sorry, I need a second.”

“It’s okay,” I assure him as he rolls over into the space next to me, propping his head against the door. The windows have all fogged up, blocking my view of the street outside and offering us privacy that I appreciate as I suddenly feel very exposed.

“I didn’t want to stop,” Caleb says after a moment.

“Me neither,” I agree.

“But I also don’t want to get you into any more trouble,” he adds. “And there will always be time for… more. We don’t have to rush.”

I exhale, letting my head fall back against the seat. “You’re right.”

“Are you okay?” he asks, voice brimming with concern.

How do I answer that? It feels like every vein in my body is filled with fire. I can hardly think straight. It’s taking every ounce of restraint I have not to dive across the seat and into Caleb’s arms.

“I’m finding it difficult not to jump you right now, to be honest.”

Caleb laughs, knocking his shoe against my knee. “Same.”

“Are we–” I stop, trying to organize my thoughts. “Are you ready, I mean, to, um, take things further? Not now, obviously. Like, later. Whenever. In the near distant future. I’m going to stop talking now.”

“I think I am,” Caleb says, still grinning in the dark. “But like I said, we don’t have to rush anything. I’m happy just being with you, Theo. I don’t want you to feel any pressure to do something you’re not ready to do.”

I want to tell him I’m ready. I want to say that I don’t feel any hesitation. But that wouldn’t be the truth. So, instead, I have to do the impossibly hard thing of saying, “I don’t think I am. At least, not right now. I’m sorry.”

Caleb is beside me in a second, running his fingers through my hair. “Hey, you don’t have to apologize for that, Theo. Never. Do you hear me?”

I nod, embarrassment swelling my vocal cords shut.

“I’m not interested in pushing you into anything. We’ll take it at your speed, and if I ever make you uncomfortable, you tell me right away. Deal?”

“Deal,” I manage through the tightness of my throat. “I love you, Caleb.”

“I love you, too. Now, we should probably get dressed before we pull up to my house. I don’t want to catch pneumonia.”

I snort a laugh, and Caleb plants a kiss on my forehead.

We gather ourselves back into Eileen’s front seats and finish the trip to Caleb’s house. And after he’s gone, I spend the rest of the drive replaying those moments when his lips were on mine, and nothing else mattered.