Tied Together (The Cade Siblings Duology #1)

36. Alana

CHAPTER 36

Alana

The past few days have been such a whirlwind and I feel like I haven’t had a chance to take a breath. Even Alex and I haven’t had a lot of time together this past week, and I’m finding myself missing him even though we’re living in the same apartment.

After the movie night last week, he walked me to my room and kissed my forehead and sent me on my way. Nothing else happened, just like he promised, and I’ve been thinking about how it felt to lay in his arms ever since.

I’m terrified, but after realizing how empty I’ve felt without him around this week, I’m ready for the next step. I finally have a grasp on work here, even though I am pretty sure I’m running myself into the ground, and I’ve come to the conclusion that, despite my fears, I’m pretty sure my heart is in good hands with Alex.

I haven’t had a chance to talk to him about any of that, though, because…work. Things at the office are moving smoothly, albeit no thanks to Luis or Genevieve, but it feels like I’m barely keeping my head above water. Two weeks in and we’re still only just making it.

It’s almost midnight and I know that this project I’m working on is going to keep me up for most, if not all of the night. I’m trying to pick up the slack from the few weeks that Impress Europe went without an editing team and it’s proving to be more work than I anticipated.

Alex has been taking on the interviewing and hiring with Amélie, which is also a ton of work, but that has mostly happened during the workday and during a few dinners this week. Because he’s putting all of his focus there, I’ve been taking the brunt of the catch up work for the section editors. I know he’d help me if I asked him to, but I don’t want him to have to.

Most nights I work in the office in our flat until dinner time and I either take a break and eat a quick dinner with him or—what’s been happening lately—I take it into my room to work while I eat. Usually I forget the food is even there. It’s an unhealthy habit, one that I’ve been doing way too often, but as soon as I get caught up I can rest.

I last saw him a few hours ago when he brought me dinner. He’s been cooking every night and I know If he wasn’t feeding me, I would be eating less than I am now which is already not a lot. This is how I get when I get focused on a job. I put my head down and don’t pick it back up until it’s done, which is good for productivity but bad for my overall health.

I notice the signs that my body is shutting down around four in the morning on Friday, but I brush it off as needing to wake myself up. It’s almost the weekend and then I can rest.

A good run and an electrolyte drink will do the trick, I think, so after another hour or so of work I make a drink and down it quickly before throwing on my running clothes. I leave Alex a note so he doesn’t worry and head out on my run.

It’s early and the sun isn’t even close to rising, so the cold is biting. At first, it’s nice. The temperature wakes me up and invigorates me, which is exactly what I was looking for. But the longer I go, the more that feeling wears off.

I can feel myself getting fatigued and I start to slow down. About twenty minutes in I realize I probably should head home and start jogging back in the direction of the flat. The jog quickly turns into a walk and instinctively I know something is wrong.

The walk back takes significantly longer than the first twenty minutes of the run out and I’m starting to realize I have made a mistake. I’m freezing cold, but my whole body is hot. It’s like I’m hot from the inside, and my palms and forehead feel clammy and itchy.

My vision feels a little funny, but I somehow make it to the front door of our building. I stumble up the steps and through the door, passing Albert who reaches out to steady me. He speaks, but I can’t understand. I press the button for the lift and stand there, waiting for it to arrive. I notice I’m swaying, as if I’m standing on a boat, and I reach out to steady myself.

That’s the last thing I remember before everything goes dark.

ALEX

I press the lift button for the hundredth time in the last thirty seconds and curse it for taking so long. Albert called around five thirty, right after I woke up, saying Alana was acting strange on her way in from her run and I was immediately unsettled. She has been working way too hard the last few days and I know she hasn’t slept much, but I’ve been trying not to overstep. She asked me not to do everything for her, so I’ve been cautious of that.

When I saw her note that she had gone on a run I resisted the urge to go after her, not wanting her to think I was being an overprotective whatever I am to her , but I should have gone.

The lift doors slide open painfully slowly and the scene in front of my eyes will be featured in my nightmares for nights to come. Albert has Alana cradled in his arms and she is just barely conscious. Her head is rested on his shoulder and her eyes flutter open and closed. I instinctively reach for her and Albert passes her to me. He moves around us and goes to open the door to the flat for me.

“Can you grab me a wet washcloth please?” I say as I rush us inside.

I probably should just lay her down on the couch, but I feel like if I let her go I’ll go insane, so instead I sit down with her in my lap and cradle her head in the crook of my arm. I brush her hair back from her face and flinch at how warm her head is.

“Alex?” she whimpers. “I was running. How did I get here?”

“Shhh you’re okay, Lanie, I got you.”

She closes her eyes and turns to burrow herself into my chest. “I don’t feel very good.”

“I know you don’t. You’ve been working a little too hard lately. Do you remember the last time you slept?” I gently ask. She pulls her head away from my chest and seems to be thinking, which automatically worries me. If she can’t remember the last time she slept, she hasn’t had nearly enough sleep or something is seriously wrong.

“I think I slept on Monday night.”

Monday night? It’s Friday. I automatically begin beating myself up for not noticing this. She lives in the same damn apartment as me and I didn’t realize she was working herself into exhaustion.

Things have been really busy for me at the office this week, too, and I have been trying to help her bridge the gap from the last few weeks, but I’ve mostly left her to it. I didn’t realize how much she was working after hours to get it done.

“Alright, Lanie. We’re going to get some fluids in you and some sleep. How’s that sound?”

Whatever I said must have startled her, because she shoots up from my lap with wide and crazed eyes. “Sleep? But we have work. It’s Friday morning, we can’t sleep right now. I have to go to work.” My relief at her knowing what day it is quickly fades as she frantically tries to get out of my grip.

“Hey, hey. It’s okay, Lanie, we don’t need to go into work today.” I gently move her to lay back down in my lap and draw slow circles on her back with my hand. “You’ve done enough, they’ve got it all handled.”

“Do you promise?”

“Yes, I promise.” I lean down and kiss her forehead, something I’ve been doing a lot lately to keep from kissing her lips.

“I feel funny. I shouldn’t have moved so quickly. Is the room spinning? Can you make it stop?”

“Yeah, sunshine, I can make it stop. All you have to do is close your eyes.”

“Oh, okay.” Alana closes her eyes and a deep sigh leaves her lips. Mine follows as I realize I think I’ve finally gotten her to calm down. I press the damp washcloth on her forehead and Albert checks that we’re okay. I am pretty certain all she needs is a good rest, but I ask him to give me the number of a few doctors so I can call if I need them.

“Alex, you’re so smart. The room stopped spinning and I feel so much better. Why do you have to be so smart? And beautiful? And why are your hands so perfect and soft?”

I chuckle softly at her barely conscious babbling. She won’t remember any of this once she’s back to normal.

“Okay as much as I would love to hear all the things you like about me, I think it’s time we take a little nap.” I stand with Alana in my arms and begin to carry her down the hall. She curls into me and even though I hate that she’s sick, I can’t hate the way she feels in my arms.

I stop in the hallway at her door and debate taking her in there, but think better of it and cross the hall to my room instead. I would rather be able to monitor her and there’s a couch in my room I can lay on.

I push the door open with my foot and gently place her on the left side of the bed. I pull her running shoes, mittens and jacket off before tucking her into the bed. I start to pull away, thinking she’s already fast asleep, but she stops me with a hand on my wrist.

“Stay,” she says, blue eyes watering with unshed tears. “Please.”

It’s just like the night we decorated the Christmas tree, but this time I don’t make the same decision. Instead, I wordlessly slip into the bed next to her. She curls her body into mine and I let her snuggle closer. She dozes off to sleep and I pull my phone out to let Amélie know we won’t be in today, then I decide it would be best to go ahead and call the doctor. Better safe than sorry.

I’m not tired, so I turn on the television to a Christmas movie and turn the volume down really low. Alana breathes a deep, contented sigh and buries herself further down into the covers. I take my first deep breath of the last hour, too, now that I can see she’s here and safe in my arms.

I’m overwhelmed with all the same feelings I felt the last time I held her close. It was torture to lay with her and watch that movie and not be able to kiss her and tell her how I’m feeling, but I don’t want to spook her. She told me she wasn’t ready and I told her I’d wait. I think we’re a lot closer after that night, but we haven’t had a chance to have another conversation about it since then.

I can’t help but feel guilty that I didn’t realize what was going on and put a stop to it, or help her manage her workload better. I’m thankful I know now, despite the intense fear I felt upon seeing her passed out in Albert’s arms.

I look down at her sleeping peacefully and reach out to brush a strand of chocolate brown hair out of her face. As I watch her sleeping form rise and fall with each breath, my thoughts wander to my dad. I wonder if he’s out there somewhere settling down in bed with his wife after having a warm meal where they talked about their day and he laughed about something she said. I wonder if maybe it’s the opposite. Maybe he’s alone tonight, eating a frozen meal he warmed up in the microwave. I wonder if I’m just like him, if I’ll never be able to be the husband and father someone might need. Someone like Alana.

I try to push those unhelpful thoughts aside and remind myself that, despite my fears, I don’t have to be like him. I can learn from his mistakes.

Leaning down, I place a gentle kiss to the top of Lanie’s head and settle back in to watch the rest of the movie.