True Love (The Society #4)

Chapter 27 – Emergency Prank Planning

Monday – March 11, 2024

Ash

I knew my cheeks were red. But for once it wasn’t just because I was embarrassed. The flush on my cheeks was from being well fucked. And we weren’t hiding it from anyone. Ah, Tanner’s shirt is still unbuttoned! And I have cum all over my face!

I cleared my throat and tried to discreetly wipe my face off with the back of my hand. “Oh, uh...hey, Rob.”

Rob shook his head and looked around at the carnage.

While he was distracted, I turned to Tanner and started buttoning his shirt for him.

He shrugged like he wasn’t embarrassed at all. But at least he let me finishing buttoning his shirt.

Rob’s eyes stopped on his desk. “Please tell me that’s vanilla pudding on my desk…” He pointed to the huge pile of splooge we’d left on the desk from Tanner’s premature ejaculation incident. Ah! Another incident for Tanner! Yes!!! Incident #2, baby!

“Nope,” said Tanner.

Tanner!

“That’s skeet,” Tanner said. “Normal, non-flammable skeet.” He sounded so happy about it.

Rob gagged.

Nigel walked into the office and offered me a warm towel .

I had no idea why he was here. But I didn’t care. “Nigel! It’s so good to see you! I missed you!”

He smiled. “You missed me?” He smiled even more. “Moi?” He looked a little bashful. “Stop.” He smiled again. “Stop it.”

I happily took the towel. Nigel always knew when I needed a towel.

Rob stepped over some broken glass. “You’re going to pay to fix all this, right?” he asked.

“Nope,” said Tanner.

“What do you mean nope?”

“Do you not remember setting my apartment on fire and making a section of my floor collapse? Ruining my dining room and Thanksgiving?”

Rob shrugged.

“Pay back.”

Rob sighed and picked up one of the pictures of his family. “I guess that’s fair. But I didn’t cum anywhere in your apartment.” An evil smile spread across his face. “Or did I?”

Tanner rolled his eyes.

Rob laughed and looked over at the screen. “Wait, did you just fuck Ash while watching footage of her getting fucked by all those strippers?”

Tanner nodded. “Yeah I did.” He really seemed very pleased with himself. “But that wasn’t why it was on. I played a prank on Ash and told her that she had to kill her lesser true love. So we were comparing the footage of the vault and the party to see who she was fucking when her name appeared on the lamp.”

“So who was it?” asked Rob .

“I don’t know,” said Tanner. “And I don’t really care.”

I smiled. I didn’t really care either. What mattered was that Tanner and I were finally back together.

“Well I’m curious,” said Rob. “My money is on the minotaur. He was really plowing her good.”

Tanner shrugged. “Mine too.”

Rob rewound both videos until COOPER disappeared from the lamp. Then he hit play to find the exact moment I’d set Tanner free.

The footage showed me and Chastity sucking the same cock while both getting railed from behind. And then taking our well-deserved cumshots. Then I went and sat on the couch. I was hiding behind a pillow while watching Dr. Lyons go to town on Frankie. He pulled out and exploded all over her.

And that’s when COOPER appeared on the lamp in the vault footage.

Tanner’s head tilted to the side. “Well that’s odd. Maybe we didn't have them synced up?”

Rob rewound them and played it again. And it was definitely synced up.

“Maybe the magic was delayed?” I asked. It didn’t make sense otherwise. No one was cumming in me or on me or anywhere near me.

“No,” said Nigel quietly.

No? Oh, right. He had the hots for Frankie. So he was in denial about what he’d just seen. “Don’t worry, Nigel. I’m sure you still have a chance with Frankie. She was just having some fun at my bachelorette party. It’s not like they’re in love.”

He cleared his throat. “Actually, they are. ”

“What?”

“Gah!” He threw his hands up in the air. “I have a confession!”

“That you’re in love with Frankie?”

“Moi? No.” He scrunched up his nose in disgust. “The truth is...I have secretses. But now I’m free and I don’t think I have to keep secretses anymore. And I...” His voice trailed off. “Don’t be angry with me! I was being a good boy!”

I was so confused right now.

“What is happening?” Rob mumbled under his breath.

“Fine!” yelled Nigel. “I’ll tell you everything!” He took a deep breath. “A few years ago, Tanner had been trying to help Rosalie find love at the Society.”

Wait, what?!

Tanner shook his head. “I never met Rosalie...”

“Silence, Master!” said Nigel. “Stop being a cockwomble.”

A what?

“You’re out of control with your freedom, Nigel,” said Tanner.

“I’m sorry, Master. But you keep interrupting me! I’m telling secretses! Now, where was I? Ah yes, Tanner was helping Rosalie find true love. But one day she showed up to the Society super nervous. She’d walked in on Joe cheating on Ash. Tanner had Marty investigate and found out that Joe had just hired a hitman.”

A hitman to kill...Rosalie?! Oh my God.

“Wait, we’re talking about Joe Dickson, right?” asked Rob. “Cupcake?”

“Yes. Mr. Cupcake,” said Nigel .

Fucking Cupcake!

“I would have wiped Joe’s memory to stop the hit from happening,” continued Nigel, “but we didn’t know who the hitman was. And he’d still be coming after Rosalie even if Joe didn’t remember hiring him. So instead we decided it was best to wipe Rosalie’s memory and give her a new identity. And we also wiped everyone’s memory who knew her at the Society. And then Tanner asked moi to wipe his memories of her too. To keep Rosalie safe.”

I looked over at Tanner. And he just looked very confused.

What the hell, Nigel? “Why would you not tell us this?!”

“Because I got in trouble in the first place for not keeping secretses. And was cursed! I never make the same mistake twice. I’ve learned to keep secretses very well over the past couple centuries. I’m great at secretses now! The best! And everyone made me promise never to tell a soul. So I couldn’t. I was just being a good boy. But it’s been eating me up inside this whole time!”

Oh, Nigel. My heart hurt for him. He was just trying to be good.

“But I tried to make up for it by tricking the genie council into saying that Tanner would be free as soon as Miss Cooper found love. Miss Cooper. Not Ash Cooper. Which included Rosalie! Because she’s technically also Miss Cooper.” He took a deep breath. “That’s why I kept trying to get you guys to focus on helping Frankie find love. But would you listen to me? No. ”

“Wait.” I stared at him. “Are you saying that Frankie is Rosalie?”

“Yes!” He smiled. “That feels good to say out loud.” He snapped his fingers and Frankie appeared in front of us.

Frankie screamed. “What is going on?”

“Let’s get her memory back, shall we?” said Nigel.

“What?” she said.

Nigel snapped again. Frankie turned into Rosalie.

Oh my God. It was really her. I could feel tears pooling in the corners of my eyes. I can’t believe this is real.

Rosalie shook her head. And then her eyes grew round when she saw me. “Ash?” She started crying. “Ash!” She ran over to me and threw her arms around me, almost knocking me over.

“Rosalie!” I hugged her back. My tears started spilling down my cheeks. “I never thought I’d see you again,” I sobbed into her hair.

“I’m so so sorry,” she said. “I wanted to tell you before I disappeared, but I was so scared.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for.” I hugged her even tighter. But then I pulled back to look at her again. I was having a hard time believing this was actually her. “I can’t believe what Joe did.” Actually...I could. Because it was freaking Joe!

“That asshole,” she said.

Yeah, this was definitely Rosalie. I hugged her again. I didn’t want to ever let go. “I’ve missed you so much.”

“I’ve missed you more.” She sniffed and pulled back. “Freaking Joe. ”

“I can’t believe he’s the reason I had to think you were dead.” I shook my head. “Can you guys believe he had to the audacity to send me a wedding invitation for his wedding to the woman he cheated on me with?”

“For real?” Rosalie put her hand on her hip.

“Yes! It’s this weekend. On the 17 th .”

Rosalie gaped at me. “Isn’t that your wedding anniversary?”

Rob laughed. “And isn’t the 17 th a Sunday? What kind of lame ass wedding is this gonna be?”

I laughed. “Yes, and yes.”

Rosalie smiled. One of her wicked ones. “So what are we gonna do to ruin this asshole’s wedding?”

Tanner turned to Rob. “Any suggestions?”

Rob looked shocked. “You want my help?”

“Of course,” said Tanner. “You’re the master of epic pranks. I can’t imagine a better man for the job.”

Rob smiled. “I’m honored. And I’m excited to prank Cupcake. I’ve hated that asshole since high school.” He slowly nodded his head. “I think I have just the thing. Come with me.”

He guided us to a portion of the office that was more of a warehouse.

“Give me a minute,” he said. He disappeared among the thirty-foot-tall shelves packed with boxes.

Tanner’s cell phone started ringing. He quickly answered it. “Yes?”

Pause.

“Wow, seriously? You’re sure?”

Pause.

“How did he know?”

Pause .

“Yeah, that makes sense. Okay, great work, Marty.” He hung up.

“What was that about?” I asked.

“Marty just figured out who took Santa’s magic.”

“Who was it?”

“I’ll give you three guesses.”

“Well... Taking Santa’s magic seems like a total DODO move. And I’m pretty sure either Liz or Homeless Rutherford is DODO. So…one of them.”

Tanner laughed. “Why do you think they’re DODO?”

“We saw Homeless Rutherford cruising around in a sweet new ride right after you got snatched. So I thought maybe he got paid handsomely by the genie council for your capture.”

“And Liz?”

“Because she’s the freaking worst. I’d rather be poisoned than ever have to see her again. DODO sucks and so does she. So...it just makes sense.”

Tanner laughed.

“Also, it was so weird how she always fell asleep at hangouts. So I started to suspect maybe she wasn’t really asleep and she was just spying on me and Chastity trying to figure out your secret.”

Tanner slowly nodded. “Interesting… We might be able to use that to our advantage.”

“How?”

“Because Joe is the one who stole Santa’s magic.”

“WHAT?!”

“Asshole,” Rosalie said.

“Yup,” said Tanner. “Over the last couple months Marty has been looking into every instance of a mall Santa not showing up for work last holiday season. Which was difficult, because apparently most mall Santa’s are alcoholics and frequently miss work. Anyway, he finally found the mall that happened to be hosting the REAL Santa. It took him a while to check all the footage from the surrounding streets, but eventually he found footage of Joe nabbing Santa and tossing him into a white van.”

“But how did Joe find the real Santa? Or know he was magical?”

“I asked Santa that same thing when we were being held hostage together. Apparently he’d asked his captor that same question, and the captor said that his ex-wife got drunk one night and told him about a wild Christmas Eve she and her friends had had with a magical, hot Santa.”

“Me?” What?

“Oh,” said Rosalie. “That must have been the Christmas you and Chastity went on a girls’ trip with her daddy.”

“I definitely don’t remember that,” I said. “And I remember most of my time with Daddy.” I shook my head. “I mean Chastity’s daddy. Gah, that’s so confusing. But okay. That’s possible. I’m missing a lot of time in my head from my freshman year.” I was starting to think I’d somehow blacked out during most of it.

A horn honking made us turn our heads.

Rob was driving up on a forklift with a pallet on the front. The pallet tipped to the side and thousands of vanilla pudding cups spilled out onto the floor.

“Oops,” said Rob. “Don’t tell James I did that. But…pudding! The key ingredient to any proper pr ank.” He hopped off the forklift, grabbed a pudding cup off the ground, and ate a big spoonful. “I’ve been stockpiling it for my next epic prank. And I have to keep it here because Daphne won’t let me have more than 13 ounces of pudding in the house at one time.”

“And what are we gonna do with the pudding?” I asked.

He smiled. “I thought you’d never ask.”

I stared at him.

But he didn’t go into any more details.

“Well?” I asked.

“So you know how I asked if the skeet on my desk was pudding?”

“Yes….”

“Well, what if we install an exploding pack of pudding into his bride’s dress. And make it explode up onto her face JUST before she walks down the aisle. So it’ll look like she took a massive cumshot from one of the ushers. Imagine the look on Cupcake’s face when he sees that.”

I laughed. “That would be pretty epic. Especially because they’re livestreaming the whole event. Rumor has it that they’re on a shortlist for getting their own reality show.”

Tanner nodded. “I like where you’re going with this. But I think we can do even better.”

“How?” asked Rob.

Tanner pulled a flash drive out of his pocket. “We happen to have footage of Joe cheating on Sierra. And I know just how to use it. If we can pull this off, it’s going to the prank to end all pranks.”

Rob looked so excited.

And I was too. I couldn’t wait to fuck up Joe’s stupid wedding.