Victim (Damaged Devils #16)

Chapter Eleven

Cannon sat by the fire pit and stared at nothing. Heat blasted his skin while Cannon stayed inside his head. He had thought he knew pain when he walked away from Knight, but that had just been weakness. Cannon had given everything to Xan. He had stepped out of the closet for him. Cannon would have done anything. The cabin he rented deep in the woods of Gatlinburg, Tennessee, felt cold and lifeless. He sought peace and found loneliness. Cannon supposed this would be the rest of his life now. Cannon needed to figure out where he was headed next. This was only a two-week rental. He couldn’t afford to stay here forever. Cannon thought about continuing north. While he had been all over the world during his days with the special forces, he hadn’t actually gotten to enjoy any of his travels. Not that he enjoyed himself now, either. Still, he couldn’t go home. There was nothing for him there except memories of Xan every place he looked. As hard as he tried, Cannon couldn’t forget how genuine and defeated Xan had looked before he left. He wished he knew what to believe. Cannon didn’t want to keep being the fool. Yet thinking there was any chance Xan really loved him left him shattered and confused. Not that long ago, he would have given anything for Knight to let him prove himself. It murdered his soul to think of Xan feeling the same way. He just didn’t have any fight left in him. Cannon was beyond exhausted.

“Why banjo country?”

Cannon didn’t know why, but he wasn’t surprised at all Royal had found him. He was more shocked he was the one who came. Cannon knew the bureau wouldn’t let him walk away that easily. He never expected it to be Royal they sent. Maybe he should have, though. Royal would finally get to savor his dream of killing Cannon.

He lifted his beer bottle to his lips and took a drink before answering. “It’ ll make it easier for you to hide my body, I suppose.”

Royal snorted. He pulled a lawn chair closer to the fire and sat. “It would if I cared enough to kill you.”

Apparently, he was surrounded by liars. Still, he would entertain this. He had nothing else going on. “Why are you here, then? This is a long way to come for someone you despise.”

“Yeah, well, I kind of like Xan and he loves you, so here I am.”

Cannon didn’t respond. He was tired of calling people on their lies. Cannon tossed his empty bottle onto the fire and popped open the cooler. “Do you want a beer?”

Royal shook his head .

Cannon twisted the cap off the bottle and threw it in the fire pit. For a minute, they sat in companionable silence while Cannon drank.

“You’ve surprised me with Xan,” Royal said, breaking the silence. “One of the things I hated most about you was your cowardice when it came to Knight. But you openly claimed Xan, even with your family.”

“I’d ask how you know that, but I’m sure you know everything.”

Royal held his stare. “I do. I know way more than you ever will, and that’s why I’m here. There’s no way I can stay home and pretend I come from some rose-filled background and see the world as sunshine and butterflies. That’s not who I am, and it’s not who Xan is. When your parents stopped by the other day to ask Knight his thoughts on Xan, I thought, damn. He really did it. Cannon really grew some balls for Xan. Then you immediately ruined it.”

Cannon rolled his eyes. “You obviously don’t know as much as you think. Xan lied to me. He set up an entire fake operation to trick me into falling in line with the bureau. Excuse me if I’m not cool with that.”

Royal cocked his head to one side and eyed Cannon. “Xan didn’t set that up. Yes, he knew it would happen, but it wasn’t his plan. They tortured him for real. He chose to let it happen because he could take it, and if he had said no, and he could’ve said no, you’re who they would’ve tortured into submission. He wasn’t okay with that. If you still can’t see that he’s not free, but he absolutely fucking loves you, then you don’t deserve him. You deserve banjo country and to always look over your shoulder. You’re not the victim in this story. If you leave Xan to clean up after you, I one hundred percent will think less of you than I already do.”

Cannon rubbed his forehead. “I don’t even know what that means.”

Royal stared at him like he was dumb as fuck. “You saw what happened when you stepped out of line just a little. What do you think is happening now that you’ve fully thrown down the gauntlet?”

Cannon held Royal’s stare. He didn’t understand.

Royal slowly shook his head. “Oh, my God. You really are stupid.” He blew out a slow, tired-sounding breath. “Well, I guess it’s left to me, then. You might want to call Knight and say your goodbyes. Once I strike out against both alphabet companies, the two of us will have to run. You won’t see him again.”

“You’ll have to take Knight and run? Seriously, what in the fuck are you talking about?”

It might have been the alcohol, but Cannon had never been more confused.

For a moment, Royal simply held his stare. Then, when he answered, he did so slowly, as if speaking to an idiot. “Xan is taking your punishment. If you don’t get back to business, they’ll likely kill him this time. They can’t risk him joining you to strike out against them. You both know too much. It’s a hell of a lot easier to make two people disappear than to cover up an entire media shit storm if either of you talk.”

Royal might have been lying, but Cannon didn’t think so. The guy hated Cannon. No way would he have agreed to help Xan bring him back. No matter how much Royal liked Xan, he loved Knight more. The truth was slow to penetrate his alcohol-soaked brain, but it hit like a truck once it struck. Xan was somewhere being tortured because of him. He remembered the defeat written on Xan’s face. Cannon realized now the exact moment Xan had accepted his fate for letting Cannon go. Pain sliced through Cannon. Xan loved him. If he didn’t, he never would have let Cannon leave, and Cannon absolutely knew Xan had let him.

“I hope you have a way to get us home. I’m in no shape to drive.”

Royal smirked. “Don’t worry about that. I have my ways.”

Cannon stood and doused the fire. There was no time to waste. His baby was out there somewhere in pain. Cannon had some people to kill.

There were at least three broken ribs. Maybe more. He wasn’t sure what these guys hoped to accomplish. Even if he believed for a second Cannon would answer his calls, what could he say? “Come back or these guys will kill me?” Cannon already thought he was a liar. Nothing he said would change a thing. Cannon was done. Soon, Xan would be dead, and Cannon would likely follow. Maybe they would toss Xan’s dead body at his feet and force him to change his tune. Cannon was hardheaded, though. He might choose to die just to spite them, or for some holier-than-thou sanctimonious reason. Either way, none of it mattered anymore. Xan had nothing left but a lifetime of service without Cannon. That hadn’t sounded so bad with Cannon at his side. After all, they had planned to give Cannon Jake’s job. They would have had a newfound freedom. Without Cannon, and knowing the guy hated him, there was nothing now.

There was no blood in his arms. Tied above his head, he had lost feeling in them ages ago. He had no idea how long he had been here, but it felt like forever. Xan wished they would get on with it already. The physical pain was nothing, but the mental pain was a new torment he didn’t know how to handle. He had found something and lost it. Now nothing mattered anymore.

The front door burst open, exploding inward as if a small detonation had taken it off the hinges. The three men they had spared for Xan’s last days shot from the couch he had once shared with Cannon. The tiny safe house cabin didn’t feel so safe any longer. At least, not for his captors, no doubt.

Cannon stepped through the door while smoke still somewhat kept him hidden. The men had been unprepared. The cabin was meant to be impenetrable by anyone not bureau-sanctioned. In a quick series of three pops, all three men went down with holes in the center of their foreheads.

Xan stared at the dead men with zero emotion. He had no hatred or pity. They had only been doing their jobs, and it was a deadly one. Cannon moved his way. Xan was too tired to lift his head.

“That’s gonna be a lot of paperwork for you.” He tried to chuckle, but it turned into a cough.

A knife appeared beneath his nose. “Take a breath. This’ll hurt.”

Xan didn’t have time to question anything. The ropes holding his arms were cut away. His weight dropped and broken bones shifted. A cry tore from his lips with zero permission from his brain. Then he was on the floor and in Cannon’s arms.

Cannon rubbed his arms, trying to bring back the blood flow. Xan stared up at him from his lap. He would never get enough of seeing Cannon’s gorgeous amber eyes.

“It won’t take them long to come for us.” He hated to point that out. Xan didn’t know what made Cannon rescue him, but they both knew the property was heavily surveilled.

“No one will come for us.”

Xan blinked. He was a little concerned he might black out. “I don’t understand.”

Cannon’s closed expression gave nothing away. “I’m the only one who can give that order now. ”

Xan’s heart fell. He knew how badly Cannon didn’t want that director role and how much he would resent Xan for this. He glanced toward the nearby dead bodies.

Cannon kept massaging his arms. “They were fired.”

Xan’s eyes fell closed. Cannon was such a by-the-book guy. None of this was something Cannon could live with. They were still over, and Xan couldn’t fix it. He deserved this pain.

Cannon’s lips touched his gently, sparing Xan the pain from his cuts. “Don’t pass out, baby. I can’t carry you out of here without risking puncturing a lung. I can see your ribs shifting.”

Xan could do this for Cannon. He would. With his back teeth gritted so hard he felt a crack, Xan rolled to his knees and pushed himself from the floor. Cannon moved with him, helping him out the door. It was a slow trek to the waiting SUV. Cannon had come for him completely alone. Xan didn’t ask how Cannon knew where to find him. Like last time, they likely sent someone to fetch him. But it made no sense for him to be by himself.

“Why no backup?” It was all Xan could manage.

“Why would I need it?”

God. The cockiness. Xan was so in love with him. As Cannon helped him into the passenger seat, Xan breathed through the pain, but it made him weak and loosened his tongue. “I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry. You didn’t want this life anymore and now you’re stuck. Just leave me and run. If I’m dead, that buys you time to free yourself.”

“Shut up, Xan.”

Xan locked his back teeth. Cannon buckled his seatbelt for him. He paused and met Xan’s stare. “I’ll have you patched up and pumped full of drugs soon enough. Just hang on a little longer, okay?”

Xan managed a nod.

Cannon kissed him again. Then he pressed his forehead against Xan’s. With his hand holding the back of Xan’s head, he seemed to simply breathe Xan’s existence for a moment. He kissed him again. “I love you. Just hang on.” Cannon pulled away and closed the door behind him. Xan watched him circle the vehicle with his heart in his throat. He was scared as hell to hope, but he couldn’t deny that was exactly what built in his chest. That might be the thing that killed him.